Burn

A.D.I.D.A.S

Have you ever tasted sex before? Nah not when you eat a bitch or a suck a nigga off, but sex. The thought of it be in the back of your throat and you try to swallow it down, but you can't get the lump to subside. The type of taste that lingers on and on forever until you die down the starvation. But, even still it tugs at your soul, daring you. The feeling of knowing that you can posses such a cringing lust that's dangerous to the touch, if you decide to reach out and grab a hold on it. God willing! You don't get overtaken by the power sex can conjure. The right amount of desperation and Want can turn the blandest of minds into the mentally impaired when it comes to the motioning of her hips against yours or the sound of the wetness that escapes her pussy lips soft and sinful. The way that she arches up into you and digs at your back likes she's trying to rip your spine out. Mmmmm, the feels my nigga.
I can see how D'angelo could base a whole entire album off of a woman's anatomy. With the sway in her hips, the high step of her walk, and the cockiness in her attitude, it's enough to make you want the electric chair three times if you find out you're not her only lover. Sex can drive you. Sex can get you high as a Boeing 747 if you let it. I see why fucking in cars and on airplanes give people such an adrenaline rush, it's too extreme for some. Sex supposed to be such a sacred thing between two people. But it's not just something you do, it's an art form, and people forget that. So, they get sloppy and carried away. And, sex has become water to me. I dehydrate if it becomes scarce. So, does that make me a sex addict? Do my fascination with the female body and the temptation that lies within it supposed to deter me from being like you? Only difference between you and me is that you're high strung off of love and the feeling of being someone's forever and I'm addicted to the sweet temptress scandalous moans that escape her mouth due to my cravings from the beginning, only if it's for the moment. I don't care about forever right now, I'm too young for that forever shit. I care about the facts! Fact is, I'll devour you for the years to come. Not just your body, but your mind as well. I think I fucked Ashley too well for her first time. I fucked as if she was going to be the only girl I fucked again in life. Ashley wasn't my speed, she was a virgin barely out the box then. And, you know how females get about their first time having sex. "Why do you be fucking me so good?" She would always ask me. So, I stopped fucking her all together. Sex is too potent, and I wasn't an amateur. I didn't want her ready to kill her self because of me, but ..
     "Did you hear me?" Derrick snapped at me. I looked, "Yeah I heard you nigga." I lied. "Nigga, just because you a girl don't mean I ain't gone punch yo ass. You in here daydreaming and shit." He said, counting the stacks of money that laid in front of us on my grandma's kitchen table. My cousin Derrick was a real deal ass nigga. We might've been cousins by marriage, but he was more like my brother than anything else. He stayed in some shit or would stay getting sent off to juvenile on some petty shit. When he finally got his shit together and moved closer, I put him down with me running drugs for these Mexicans in the hill. I figured why not. I laughed, "nigga you gon have to die if you think you gon put yo fuck ass dick beaters on me." He laughed back, "These ain't dick beaters, I get pussy." I shook my head, "I can't tell." "Mhm, you just mad Ashley broke up wit yo sorry ass. You lame nigga." He joked. I looked up from counting the money that was left in my hand, "A lame ass nigga wouldn't have walked away like I did. Bitch, I walked away smooth un-fucking-bothered. Fuck Ashley, she ain't know how to ride me anyway." I spoke, picking my stack back up. "Damn nigga, you made me lose count again." I spoke again. Derrick shook his head at me, "But why tho?" He asked. "Why what?" I answered back. "That girl really love you nigga. You fucked up." He sighed. I squinted my eyes at this nigga because he couldn't be serious, he just had to be joking. "Nigga what?! You was the main one talking about she did too much. She wouldn't never let me do shit, I need to break up wit her." I stuttered out. "Bro, I ain't shit. You shouldn't have listened to me. But I'm saying though since you done broke up wit her she been bugging me. All in my inbox asking about how you doing and shit. Like, I can make you change your mind." "And you can't." I cut him off. "Nigga, we talking bout a bitch when we need to be talking about money. How much you got over there?" I spoke again. "Uhhhh..." he scratched his head. "My point exactly. You got $4,564 over there." I said, not looking up at him. He jumped, "Whaaaaaaaat, how you know that?" He bucked. "Common sense." I replied back. He smacked his lips, "Yeah okay, let the count be fucked up for real. Felipe gon run ya down bout his money." I shrugged my shoulders, "Felipe gon be aight. As long as his cocaine and his weed get sold he not tripping." I smirked. My hand started to ache as I tried to grab one more stack of money to count it. Where the fuck my money counter at? I thought. "Damn blood ain't yo fingers tired?" Derrick sighed as he threw down all the money that was in his hand fucking up the count again. "See, here you go. Always fucking up the church's money wit that petty shit, put the damn money back in the bag. I'll count it myself you tripping." I said, trying to play off the fact my hand started cramping ugly as fuck. "Mhm, I knew it was coming." He spat. I slightly laughed, "Shut yo ass up, blood." I looked back at him.
Grandma's house felt like a sanctuary to me. It was to me as a pulpit was to a pastor on Sunday service, home. No matter how many times I can leave from 763 Wallace Place and say I'm never coming back, I'll come back. Every time when my mama threw me out, I'd end up here. This was the only home I really knew of. It may have been creaky and cold as fuck in the winter and might have grandpa died from a heart attack in the back room I slept in, but nonetheless this was home to all of Shirley Mae's grand kids and great grands too. The dark hall over took me as I glided to my room for my phone. Ashley 67 missed calls. "What the fuc.. nah fuck it I'm just finna block her ass now blood." Shaking my head. I plopped down on the queen size bed and laid back with my head against the wall. Maybe I do owe her. I thought. But, Ashley was too much of a hand full and I couldn't get used to someone of her caliber. I mean, I loved her for what she did for me and the reasons she always cared, but I couldn't love her back the way she wanted. I wanted something different. I sighed, I don't got time. "Santiago here." Derrick suddenly appeared in my doorway. I continued to lay there, "Okay, I got you hip to this shit. You already know what to do." I spoke back, dozing off. "Yeah, I tried that, I know what it is. But he ain't here for tha money." He fired back. I smacked my lips, "mane, what he here for then?" I said, getting up. "I don't know. This nigga know not to come to grandma house with that bullshit right?" Derrick said, gripping the glock .40 he had stuffed in the waistband of his joggers. "Of course he knows. We established the lines." I said, walking past Derrick to the front where Santiago was. Santiago and Dominic Carlotta ran majority of the drug trade in the heights. Whenever niggas needed that premium pure cut, they were the ones that always came with it. Being that their uncle, Edward Pallo was a top general in the Cali Cartel nobody went against them. Every competitor they came across, they wiped them out. I know, because I helped. "Ágo." I appeared around the corner. Santiago was the oldest of the two. He was more level headed and quick to listen than Dominic. But, if he found just an ounce of sneakiness inside of you wouldn't be alive to plead your case to him. Once, I seen him slice a woman and her child from ear to ear when I was dropping off cash from a run I had just did. I don't know what was more sinister, to watch him kill this woman and her daughter for less than $10 or watching a soul burn. How I ended up getting involved, My best friend Dro before he was killed by a rival gang back when we first started hustling. But, that was 4 years ago then and since then I made it my business that I never got on his bad side. "Tré." He spoke back. Tré was what Dro used to call me. "You taking a trip or something? What are you doing out of the heights?" His accent slithered across his tongue. His stare was cold and piercing as he looked through me. "I needed to clear my head." I stumbled on my words. Fuck this nigga finna kill me in my grandma's house. "Clear your head?" He spoke. "Yeah, things been getting out of hand lately with my girl and.." he held his hand up to signal me to stop talking. "That's enough my friend." He thundered. "You know, Chilo never listened. He didn't understand the rules to this type of game, but you do." He snared, pointing at me. "So, I ask again.. why are you out of the heights? What you don't wanna do business with Dominic and I?" He spoke again. "Nah 'Ago mane. It's nothing of the sort. I just needed to clear my head that's all." I answered back. He smirked, "Okay, you needed to clear your head." He started approaching me. "I don't doubt you are telling the truth. But, whenever you're done clearing your head. There will be an opportunity waiting for you .. in the heights. And, I'm not asking I'm implying that you and your cousin because I know he's listening behind the wall over there, become part. K?" He boomed through my ears. "Crystal." I replied. He smiled, a sick one. His long hair dropped over his shoulders as his brown eyes glistened with devastation. Santiago was much like me, a gentle soul. But, he was ruthless in his own right. It had been plenty of times he was told to execute me, but he never did, why did he save me and not Dro? I don't know, but I reconciled with the fact that he did. "Good girl." He said, patting me on the shoulder. "So, I see you soon, yeah?" I shook my head, "yes." He grinned wider, "Good." He spoke as he turned to leave. I could feel my heart rattling against my rib cage. I already knew what all this shit was leading, nothing but trouble.