pent up energy | jojian

t e n

max made joji feel way better after they had texted and skyped a few times. but the thing that wasn't okay, was that he would sometimes see ian pass by in the background. it made joji stop, and just quit talking mid-sentence. he didn't want to see ian, he didn't want to see how ian was happy without him. he hated the thought of that. even if it was as petty as it sounds, he still felt as if something was missing. and that something was ian, and he figured that out the first month not talking to him in any way. everything seemed to drag on. the days began to get longer. sleep was becoming irrelevant. music was the only thing keeping joji sane at this point. that, and max. but even max wasn't enough, it was only skype after all.

if ian came into the room when max was skyping, he would yell "get out of here you cunt!! fuckin bitch!!" max told joji one day, that he was angry at ian for doing what he did, and what he said. max would go on to tell joji how he would yell at ian, and ask why he did it. max told ian what he had done to joji, and how it had affected him. even though joji never said anything about how he was doing since the ian-situation, you could see it on his face. the lack of sleep, and joji's whole demeanor. max could tell how his whole personality had changed, and not for the better.

_

it had been three months. three months since joji spoke to ian. it was killing him. the effects of not being able to talk to him had taken a toll on joji. even though joji still resented him in a way, and hated him, some love was left over. but the good thing was that he and max were skyping everyday. max made everything seem..better. max was the only real friend joji really had left. chad too, but he didn't really talk to joji as much as max did. or wanted to. if joji needed max, he was there. no matter what.

"hey..you seem..a little down, more than usual." max said, his voice being a little muffled because of the connection. joji eyes seemed to drift away from the skype call, but he answered anyway. "i'm okay. really." he replied. joji was transparent to max, he could see right through joji. if something was bothering him, max knew. he always knew. "come on man, i know there's something wrong." max said again. this time, joji looked back up, trying to simulate eye contact with max. "i..i just..i miss him, max. and i don't know why the fuck that is, but i do. even after all the turmoil, and fighting, i still miss him. god i'm such a fuck up.." joji said weakly. max slammed his drink down on his table, making joji jump a little bit. "there is one thing i won't tolerate, and that's you calling yourself a fuck up. look, i get it, okay? you miss the cunt, and honestly, i think i would too. but joji, i've been trying my best to tell him about you, and what he did, but he always leaves and never says anything. maybe he still cares, maybe he doesn't. for your sake, i hope he does. i know you still love him, george. i don't think you can stop. you've been through so much, you even stopped posting on your filthyfranktv channel. i saw that you took down your videos you made with him. i said something about it to ian, but he just stared at me, blankly. i don't know what the fuck is up with him. i'm sorry. i really am. all you wanted was a good guy to love, but i guess that didn't happen. but then again, you never know. maybe he'll come around." max finished by taking a sip of his pepsi. joji could barely speak. he knew it was all too real, and he couldn't fathom it. he desired for things to be dissimilar. it only took joji a split second to realise that he craved ian again. he craved his touch, his voice, his laugh. all the memories started to reappear. it formed joji into a emotional mess. he sensed the tears fall down his once happy face. max noticed this right away, and started to speak again. "god dammit, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you cry, joji." joji wiped his face, and began to calm himself down. "no you didn't make me cry, max. i remembered some things, and just some of the things you said made a shit ton of sense, and it just came down on me all at once. it's..i'm sorry.." joji said. "don't you dare be sorry joji. i know you feel like you fucked up. but you're not the one who fucked up, that was ian. emotions do things like this to us, i get it. but i uh, fuck..i'm sorry but i have to go. chad wants to go out for drinks, and well, i do too. sorry. i wish you could come with us." joji sighed, not wanting his friend to go. "is..is ian going?" he asked silently. max nodded with a frown. "a-alright. well..have fun. be safe at least. drive a cab." joji made sure that max was gonna be okay. he always looked out for him now. "i will, joji. now you be careful. i hate it when you're by yourself like this.." max said, and joji waved bye, and hung up.

now what was joji to do?