Whatever You Want {Drarry}

•Doodles & Diaries•

art credit (TanyaElric on deviantart)

After finding it under the corner table in the library, Harry is staring down at the book in his hand a bit nervously. Mostly because the last time he held a leather bound journal it was actively trying to kill him. Though this one didn't look half as unnerving with the small flower that was etched into the bottom right corner of the cover. He flipped it over a few times, checking for a name, before finally peeling the front open to scan it for a signature, but no name was found. What he did find had him blushing three ways from sunday.

It was him! Or a sketch of him, at the very least, but most definitely him. He looked around to make sure he wasn't being watched and flipped to the next page and the next. They were all him and they were great. The one that froze him in his tracks was a front facing portrait that looked so much like him in his oversized pullover that he almost thought he was staring in a charmed mirror. He blushes even harder when he noticed the hearts and stars and kissy doodles charmed to float over the page when they were touched.

Harry looks around again before slamming the cover and stuffing it in his bag for later. Clearly it belongs to some girl who has a crush on him for...whatever reason, he isn't really sure. Maybe, he let himself hope for a moment, it's Ginny's or Cho's or- he shuttered terrified at the thought that it could be Romilda's. He's speeding to pack his things and maybe go through the rest of the diary to see who exactly it belonged to when Draco Malfoy rounds the corner of the bookshelf in a hurry with Blaise Zabini in tow. The blonde hasn't noticed him only because he's turned to face the darker slytherin.

"I stuffed it here a few nights ago to be rid of it-"

"I thought you said you lost it," says Blaise, bored, and not quite far enough around the shelf to see Harry who is frozen as if he were doing something wrong. The realization that he's not, sends him into action and he throws his bag over his shoulder and makes his way past them with his head down. If they see him, they don't let on and he lets out a breath as he finally crosses the threshold from the library into the corridor before rushing to the Gryffindor common room.

"Harry?" says Neville, somewhat confused when Harry finally reaches the Fat Lady's portrait. "Are you alright? What's got you in such a rush?"

"Just uh...came to pick something up. Ya know, I promised Hermione I'd study with her."

"But," Neville says tenderly, "It's a Hogsmeade weekend. Her and Ron went down for drinks, remember?"

Harry can feel himself blushing even as he musters out a stuttered response. He actually had forgotten that Ron and Hermione had gone on a date. Because they're a couple now and as happy as he is for them, it's still bloody weird knowing that they're going to want to do so much more stuff without him now.

Harry's always been alone, that's nothing new, but he hasn't felt this lonely since he was locked away in his cupboard back on Privet Drive. As he sits moping on his four poster in the boy's dormitories, he glances back over at his bag where, with a nervous delight, he remembers the sketches. Maybe he wasn't so alone. Maybe he just had to start paying better attention.

Monday came around without any warning, but Harry was ready. He had prepared a list of all the girls who had come back to redo the year that he thought would be that interested in him, then another that included girls he saw frequently from other years or knew from outside of classes (this one had lots more names to choose from). He hadn't included Hermione for obvious reasons, but he didn't let her see the list either. He had thought it through on his own. It would work!

It had to work.

By lunch, Harry had been through his first list and over half of the second. He was nowhere closer to finding the owner than he was when he had started. He groaned into his hand and noticed that Draco Malfoy was staring at him across the dinning hall, more specifically at the notebook in his hands with red cheeks and a focused gaze. Slowly he lifted the notebook, watching Malfoy's eyes follow it, until it was held up right next to his grinning face. The blond's face went blank and Harry held the book up as a sign of handing it over and Draco gave a stiff but sure nod before abruptly standing and making his way out before lunch had even really started.

Harry looked around the table then excused himself from a conversation he hadn't even realized he was in with Neville, before rushing to follow Malfoy into the corridor, yet when he got there the blond dragged him further down the hall where no one was standing around to over hear.

"Out with it then," starts Malfoy irritated.

"Out with what?" Harry says confused. The notebook was in his hand. Malfoy could take it whenever he wanted.

"Well, haven't you opened it?" he sounded less sure than he did before. Harry noticed he was terrified and he hasn't seen him like that since he was wrestling wands from him in Malfoy Manor, so he shook his head.

"No," he spoke quietly, as if his voice wasn't strong enough to be any louder; as if Malfoy would break. He cleared his throat. "I- uh found it in the library. I thought Luna or Gin put it with my stuff by mistake."

"Then what I'm hearing is, that doesn't belong to you, Potter," says Malfoy, not looking at him. "You don't have the right to go parading around with it. Hand it over."

"Mean to tell me it's yours, Malfoy?"

"No! I- You- I mean to tell you no such thing!" he said scandalized but nervous all the same. Harry watched as the taller boy shrunk into himself, blush slipping up his face, before trying to regain his dominant posture again. "I just know who it belongs to, and I'm sure they'll want it back."

"Must not be that important if they just leave it lying around the library." Harry was waving the book in Malfoy's face now, almost tauntingly and he knew if it had been any other year, the blonde would have decked him in the face before just taking the book. He continued on anyway. "Anyone could just pick it up and flip through it. There's not even a name on it for someone to return it."

Malfoy froze.

"You know its improper to go through other people's belongings," he said through gritted teeth.

"I was looking for a name. Someone to return it to," Harry said quite obviously.

"If you had just left it where it wa-" Malfoy was getting angry and although it was familiar, Harry didn't think he wanted Malfoy to be mad at him. Not this time.

"They're really good," Harry says cutting him off and handing him the book honestly. "Your sketches." He scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck.

"They're not mine. I told you, they belong to a fri-"

"Yeah, okay." Neither of them were looking at each other. "So you probably don't care that I've been feeling kind of invisible lately. Lonely, you know? I defeated Voldemort-"

"Don't-" Malfoy starts still looking terrified, but Harry keeps talking. Can't stop now that he's started.

"-I've done my part. Everyone's off doing their own things now. Healing...or trying to at least and no one really sees me any more. So uh- tell your 'friend' it was nice to be seen." Harry turned and started walking away, with darkened cheeks.

There was a hand gripping his wrist like letting go would mean they both drowned and when he turned around Malfoy was looking at him. Looking him right in his eyes, but he wasn't noticing the fact that they were Lily's. Or that they were the same color as the curse that had killed so many of both of their friends and family. Or that they were anything other than Harry's.

"I only ever see you."

-&-

hey futher muckers
buy me a ko-fi maybe?
i think the link is on my page if you wanna support me

and as usual, this oneshot pretty self-indulgent lol like seriously though, i dont know why i wanted this, but this is the only content i needed...my only thought was that i wanted a fic where harry finds draco's notebook, but assumes it belongs to a girl with a crush on him because it's full of doodles and sketches of him

alas, here it is
hope you guys liked it too

i still can't respond or load anything on my phone really, which is where i do most, if not all of my updating, so if you requested something or asked a question i'll get to it when i can, but i physically can not right now.

thanks for the continued support
love y'all

-- angel janeé xoxo 💋