The Great Sacrifice

The Last Goodbye

Galion was standing on the deck, breathing in the fresh sea breeze. Thranduil had requested a moment of privacy, which Galion allowed him with great sympathy. He himself needed time to adjust his emotions. He found it very difficult though, as he already missed her dearly. Their future would be a difficult one. Galion thought back at the conversation they had had on the day before Ari died. He had said to her that the Valar would not be that cruel. But now, after Ari's death, Galion himself honestly thought about returning to Middle-Earth, out of spite, out of a feeling of great desperation and agony. But he understood that Ari had made a great sacrifice. And he would respect it, and would not tell Thranduil anything yet. He had to make sure that the king would reach Aman, as Ari had wished. She had been right. The Undying Lands would help him to live with the pain of separation, although he would never be free from it. Yet, it was still better than being in Middle-Earth and suffering there.

The elves had been singing laments for the queen's passing all night and during the following morning. Now it was sunset, and Thranduil had to finally let her go. He had to say his last goodbye. The King had dressed his wife in her favorite gown, and had combed her golden hair. He had cried hot tears of separation, remembering her love and curiosity, her shyness and her moments of embarrassment. Her respect and care for others. He had learned so much from her. He had been greatly influenced by his wife. That he would now have to live his eternal life in separation from her was unimaginable, but still a reality - his reality. Thranduil cursed the day he had come into existence. He was an elf, he would always exist. He cursed fate that had brought him endless misery, which would, from now on, be forever a part of him. Now the memory of her would be confronted with the grief and desperation that he felt in his heart and fëa. They would battle in his heart for eternity.

Thranduil kissed her forehead and picked her body up, embracing her one last time. Galion placed the king's robe on the floor and helped his friend to gently lay his wife's body onto it. Thranduil wrapped his robe around her and they tied it around with elvish rope. He had put countless jewels and gems into a bundle that he fastened around his wife's feet. He had taken them on the journey to Aman, but to him they had lost their value. Now they would serve him one last time by pulling his beloved wife's body down to the bottom of the dark sea.

Thranduil rose to his feet and picked her up, before he lifted her over the railing. He hesitated. This was be the last time that he would see her face. The last time that he would touch her and hold her close to him. She would be gone forever, but the memory of her would always be deeply embedded in his fëa and heart. His hands shook violently while he held her over the railing, unable to let her go.

Galion stood behind his friend, and placed his hands upon Thranduil's shoulders. "My dear friend, my heart weeps with you. But you have to let her go. Let her find rest amidst the depths of the ocean. These waters touch the sacred shores of the Undying Land. It is auspicious to let her rest here."

Reluctantly, Thranduil loosened his grip on his wife's body. He watched as she slipped out of his hands and hit the surface of the water, before she sank into its depths. He stood still as stone. As he watched her body sinking into the abyss of the deep ocean, his heart sank into the dark abyss of mourning. His beloved was gone. The king held on to the railing in desperation and began to weep.

Galion stood by Thranduil's side and could not help but weep with him.

There was no joy anymore on any of the ships that had set sail to Valinor. The sad news of the queen's death had reached them immediately. The sun shone brightly down on them from a clear blue sky, but for Thranduil it was night. A night which would never end. He had fallen into an ocean of grief and regret.

*****

It was a cool morning when Galion found Thranduil standing at the railing, looking out over the wide ocean. He stood next to the king, and waited for him to speak. Many hours passed until Thranduil finally moved slightly, and parted his lips to say something.