Right Where She Belongs

Chapter Thirteen

Caleb

"Here,"

My eyes snapped open, and my body instantly stood to attention. Grams stood before me, a solemn expression disturbing her wrinkled face.  In her small white hand was a simple envelop with my name inscribed in familiar cursive writing.

Heart lodged firmly in my throat, I couldn't even manage to thank Maria, my hand reaching out as if in a dream to take the letter from her fragile hands. I licked my suddenly dry lips, raising my hooded eyes to meet grams pitying ones.

"Is it-" I cut off before my voice could crack again. God. I was so never going to get back my man-award if I broke down like a sobbing girl.

Grams nodded in confirmation. "Yes. But-" she raised a hand upon seeing my intention to rip it open, "I suggest you get some rest first, hm? Hate to break it to ya darlin' but those bags under your eyes are not doing anything for ya,"

I frowned but didn't bother arguing. I learnt a long time ago that want grams wanted, she got - one way or another.

Like I mentioned before...blood and tears.

I let her guide me to the guest bedroom, even though I could navigate this house with a blindfold and both hands tied behind my back. We reached the end of the hall and I felt a small smile pull at my lips. On the wall, marked with permanent marker, were dashes where Adrian and I had marked our height almost eight years ago, our names scribbled next to the dashes. At nine and a half, Adrian and I had been the same height, according to the markings. I'd been pretty put out, since being a male and all,  I was supposed to be taller than her. I remembered complaining that day that she had stood on her toes and cheated, even though I had marked her myself, making sure her feet remained flat on the floor. It was a wound to my young ego, but quickly healed a year later when I continued growing at a fast pace, but Adrian at a much slower one.

 Clutching the envelop to my chest and the photo-frame Adrian had made grams in the other hand, Grams left me alone in the room, pressing a delicate kiss to my forehead before she did.

"She's okay, you know," she murmured, caressing my cheek. I leaned into her touch, closing my eyes, wishing they were Adrian's hands comforting me. I knew that no matter what I found in the note, it wouldn't reassure me as much as her presence beside me would.

"She wouldn't want you to worry like this," Grams continued, pulling away slightly.

And suddenly, just like that, I was angry.

"Then she shouldn't have left me, huh?" I bit out angrily, jerking my head fully away and glaring out of the dark window, locking my jaw.

Maria sighed but didn't say anything else, knowing that it would only serve to anger her grandson even more.

Just leave, I closed my eyes, begging silently.

"Sleep tight," Maria whispered, closing the door softly behind her.

Anger, loneliness and resentment tasted bitter on my tongue. I wanted to scream my frustration, to curse and cry and shake Adrian's slender shoulders. I wanted to ask her why she left me, why the hell she would leave me knowing it would only hurt me. I wanted to see her eyes and know the truth, because I was sick. I was sick and tired of the empty feeling in my chest, the rush of pain that hit me straight in the heart every time I thought about her, which was all the fucking time.  Even in sleep I couldn't get a reprieve, my subconscious forming dreams of her face, her laughter, her contagious smile...

Then there were the real nightmares. The ones of her tears and pain. The utterly destroyed look on her face just after I kissed Tanya.

You fucked up, my brain informed me sadly.