August 24, 2017
New Orleans
Beyoncé Knowles
As I walked out of the house, and into the cool morning air, I tried not to think about how badly Nicki hurt me.
I know she said those things out of anger, but I can't help but think that's what she really thinks of me, and it hurts to know that my wife basically thinks I ain't shit.
I plug my headphones into my ears, and I start to walk to the trail I used to run on, in the park across the street from the house.
I go to my music to start my running playlist, and I make sure it's loud, to drown out my thoughts, at least for a little while.
As I'm walking, I look at the different people that are in the park as well.
There are children running around, couples walking hand in hand, seemingly without a care in this world.
There are a group of guys walking, trying to get at a group of women jogging by. A small smirk creeps onto my face, and I shake my head at their obvious failed attempts at getting their numbers.
But as quick as the smirk came, it left when the feeling of envy seeps into my body.
All these people are happy and they don't have to worry about a backstabbing son of a bitch trying to come after them and their spouse.
I wish I had the freedom to bring Onika to a park and walk around without feeling the need to look over my shoulder.
I sigh, and I shake my head and I focus on the music blaring out of my headphones as I reach the starting point of the trail.
I stretch for a few seconds and I begin to lightly jog.
While I'm running, I continue to let the music takeover my thoughts, and I try and regulate my breathing.
The thick forest of trees and the smell of grass and dirt, bring a familiar feeling of calm that washes over me.
I continue to jog, but I don't know if it's because I haven't run in awhile, or if it's because I haven't really eaten in a few days, but the longer I jog, the harder it is for me to breath.
I continue to run as far as I can, but I finally just give in and stop to catch my breath, because I'm starting to feel dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to pass out.
I bend over, placing my hands on my knees, and take deep breaths in, and exhaling through my nose, when all of a sudden I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me, restricting the use of my arms.
I try to wiggle out of their grip, but they were too strong, so I throw my head back, connecting the back of my head to their face.
"FUCK!" They yell, letting me go to hold their face.
I turn around to beat their ass, but I am met with a hard punch to the face, sending me into another set of strong arms.
By now my adrenaline is rushing through me, and the desire to get out of this hold, is very high.
I tried to get out of the hold the same way, but when I threw my head back for a second time, I feel an arm wrap tightly around my throat, cutting off my already limited air supply.
I continue my struggle to get out of the strong grip that I'm in, but that attempt is halted when I feel this intense pain on my left side, after receiving a strong punch to my ribs.
"MMMMM" I groan, when my knees buckle from the pain.
"Stand her up!" I hear a voice say.
The person who is holding me up, tries to get me to stand, but of course I like to be difficult, so I purposely go limp, and then I hear him grunt, struggling to hold my body weight up.
