Of (Heart)Beats and Bylines [Completed]

Chapter 36- Rewind

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you

Tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets

And ask me your questions

Oh, let's go back to the start

...

Nobody said it was easy

Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

- Coldplay, The Scientist

Mendoza, Nicomaine C.

I scanned the guestlist under the M section and quickly spotted my name.

Today is the awards night of the Philippine Wordsmith Awards. Incorporated with the ceremony is a sit-down dinner in a classy, sophisticated hotel. I let my eyes roam to catch a glimpse of the ballroom.

The setting is elegant but with not much frills. Because while tonight is supposed to celebrate the competencies and reward the societal contributions of journalists, the newspaper industry itself is still clambering from the throes of an evolution.

I affixed my signature beside my name, but only half of my mind was on the task. My eyes travelled up, up....

M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F....

Faulkerson!

His name is on the guest list too!

Could it be that he moved his flight so he could attend the awards night? Did he deliberately not mention anything because he wanted to surprise me, which by the way, has been part of his courtshipship style?

When the nominations were announced two weeks ago, I was uneasy of this event. But as the days to the ceremony became nearer and nearer, the less jumpy and more serene I became. I have adapted the thankful-for-the-nominations attitude but life-goes-on outlook. Of course, I'd like RJ to pick up awards too even if it is winning against me.

But today... today, I am turning into a bundle of nerves yet again. Seeing his name on the guest list is making my nervousness shoot through the roof! I am so anxious it feels as if I am about to get pushed off the edge of a cliff.

"Done with the registration?"

"Yes, mom." She is my date tonight. Mom is so proud of my first time nominations, she doesn't care too if I win or lose. It might be a cliché, but it is true that being nominated is itself an accomplishment. For me, it signifies that I'm on track in doing my job competently.

My mother and I joined the table that was filled exclusively with The Chronicle team. We had a lively, anecdote-filled dinner, but I could only contribute little to the conversations. My eyes kept darting to the entrance doors and every time a male figure walked in, I'd be craning my neck and squinting my eyes to discern if it's a tall, mestizo lad.

"Okay ka lang?" My boss Andy, who was seated on my left, asked.

"Er... yes sir."

"Waiting for someone?" he teased.

"Not really." I said with the intent of ending the conversation.

Then the ceremonies began. There are 25 categories with the major ones being: best reporter for all the beats, best column, best editorial, best editorial cartooning, and best public service which can only be won by an organization. There are several awards at stake too for journalistic photographers. Last year, Sam won first place in the Breaking News Photography category.

They are giving out the less major awards first, where there are first, second, and third prize winners. The presenter is now reading the description for the Best Investigative Report, where RJ and I share a nomination.

They announced the third place winner first, who happened to be someone from The Chronicle, too. I was busying congratulating him when I got called too as second prize winner. I received the plaque together with my partner. I was making my way back to our table when I heard RJ and his partner won first prize. I almost skipped with happiness when I reached my seat.

"See, sir? I told you RJ's report was brilliant." I whispered to Sir Andy.

"Tard ka na talaga," he replied with a chuckle.

The night went on until it was time to give out the major awards which unlike the earlier categories, can only be won by one nominee. Unfortunately, there was still no sign of RJ and I want so badly to convince him to rethink his resignation. As our awards prove, there can be room for both of us in this profession. I was totally fine in receiving second place and judging by our Messenger Chats, he is fine with whatever the results were tonight.

One by one, I saw my colleagues receive accolades in their respective turfs until the moment came when only two awards were up for grabs: Best Reporter for News and Best Public Service.

When they read my name as a nominee for Best Reporter, I saw Mom flinch. She is immensely more nervous than me, it's funny. I tried to make small talk with her that I almost didn't hear the result. I felt a nudge and when I looked at my boss, he simply said, "Go grab your plaque."

"Really?!" I asked in shock.

"Really."

"Congratulations, Menggay!" my mom said with tears in her eyes. I looked around our table to see my co-workers clapping and cheering me on. I slid out of my chair and made my way to the stage.

I thanked God, my family, boss, co-workers, and fellow nominees with special emphasis on you-know- who. As a parting shot, I said, "I'd like to dedicate this award to the children I met at the evacuation centers. The insurgency has ended but may you keep the fire of hope alive in your hearts."

When I rejoined the Chronicle team, Sir Andy mentioned jokingly, "That's like your revenge for the Debating Cup."

I just smiled. "Nah," I said, shaking my head emphatically. "That was a long time ago," I said earnestly. I just couldn't voice it out, but at this very second, I don't really care about it. I just care about RJ.

~~~~~

Bwisit na guest list. Paasa! It's either someone from The Post confirmed his attendance or the event organizer made a mistake of putting his name there. Either way, nakakainis!

These were the thoughts running through my head as mom's driver was traversing the slippery roads on the way back to our house.

"What are you doing Menggay?" Mom asked as I resorted to just tinkering furiously on my phone.

"I'm looking at the photos from tonight's event."

"Hindi ka ba nahihilo sa ginagawa mo?"

"Hindi naman po." I said as I felt the car stop. Without looking up from my phone, I knew immediately that we've reached home and that our driver is going down the vehicle to open the gate.

"I think you should put your phone down for a moment."

"Po?" I asked while conitnuing to swipe left on the screen.

"Put your phone down so you can see the world around you."

"Po?"

"There's a handsome young man by our gate. I think he's been waiting for you."