Sisters Of The Moon

Chapter 13

I raced down the hallway, pushing past people as they tried to stop me. Everyone tried to call after me as I ran by.
"Ms Hart?"
"Ms Hart? Wait!"
"Ms Hart?! What's wrong?"
"Are you okay Ms Hart?"
"Fuck off." I mumbled, trying to dodge them all.

Finally I found an empty janitor's closet, I pushed the door open. As soon as the door closed I let out a sob, kicking at an old box in the corner. I kept kicking it repeatedly, I didn't care if people could hear. The box crumbled so much I couldnt hit it anymore, I slid down the wall in defeat. Pulling my knees to my chest, I silently cried into my legs with my head down.

I raised my head when I heard a knock at the door, scurrying off the floor I tried to find somewhere to hide. At this point I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't care if it was selfish. I was so tired of pushing everything to the back of my mind, the shit had piled up too much.

"Emily?" Tom whispered, he slowly closed the door behind him. Resting his hands on his hips he looked around, "I know you're in here." Shit, I forgot this was my go to hiding place in this studio.
I crept closer to Tom before letting out a sigh, "Ya found me." I grumbled.

He frowned, "Baby doll, you want to talk about what's going on?"
"Not really, I'd rather just go home." I shook my head, I felt bad for wanting to go home. Tom wanted me there so bad, but I just wanted to be alone.
Gazing at him quickly, I saw the disappointment in his blue eyes.

"Oh fine, I'll hear the songs you want me to! Then can I go home please?" I sat down the floor, crossing my arms. Tom sat next to me, giving me a hug. "Whatever you need Emmy." We sat in silence for a while, occasionally I sniffed as tears rolled onto his shirt.

"Tommy, I really don't want to see Steph yet." I whispered, looking up at him. Tom gave the top of my head a soft kiss, "Don't worry you won't. Not until you're ready."

Benmont was the first person to give me a hug when I walked back into the control room. "Thanks Benny." I mumbled. Mike moved out of the seat next to Jimmy, "Here you can have my seat." Smiling at him I sat down, once I was settled Jimmy looked around.
"Alright, let's play this song!" He pressed a button and the song started to fill the room as I closed my eyes.

"Oh baby don't it feel like heaven right now
Don't it feel like somethin' from a dream
Yeah I've never known nothing quite like this
Don't it feel like tonight might never be again
Baby, we know better than to try and pretend
Baby no one could have ever told me 'bout this, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Well yeah I might have chased a couple of women around
All it ever got me was down
Yeah, then there were those that made me feel good
But never as good as I feel right now
Baby you're the only one that's ever known how
To make me want to live like I want to live now, yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

Oh, don't let it kill you baby, don't let it get to you
Don't let 'em kill you baby, don't let 'em get to you
I'll be your breathin' heart, I'll be your cryin' fool
Don't let this go to far, don't let it get to you

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
Yeah, the waiting is the hardest part
Ooh
Is the hardest part
Ooh
Is the hardest part."

When I opened my eyes I was greeted with six pairs of hopeful eyes staring at me. "What did you think?" Tom asked, I could tell he really wanted my approval. Looking down, I fiddled with my fingers before looking up. "I loved it!"
Tom smiled so widely, I swear it brightened up the whole room. "Really?" He asked almost bouncing up and down.

I nodded, "Of course! The words and melody, it was catchy and just an amazing song!" I placed my hands on top of Tom's, giving his hand a slight squeeze. "I think its a hit!" Everyone cheered, giving each other high fives. They were so happy with themselves, I loved it.

The band was on an all time high, the happiness I felt for them was indescribable. I was so proud of these boys, they were my world. They were the only thing keeping me alive, but I felt like I was disappointing them or being a bother. My five friends were so concerned about me, I worried they wouldn't work as hard on their music. There was no way I was going to be the reason this album flopped.

Once they decided to have The Waiting be a single, I grabbed my bag. "Is it okay if I go home Tom?"
He slightly sighed, "Yeah Emmy, be careful okay?"
Walking over to him, I nodded. "Of course, I'll take a cab." Tom brought me closer to him in a hug, "See you later baby doll."
"Love you." I whispered, as he kissed the top of my head. "Back at cha honey bee!" He grinned, making me giggle. That was what he always said, the others all said bye as I walked out the door.

My mind wouldn't stop racing, as soon as I left it couldn't stop. I didn't know what to do or handle what was going on in my life. It was all crashing down around me.

I slammed the front door shut, running into the house. I've had many arguments with my brain but this was never ending and had gotten worse. I couldn't wrap my brain around why though, after everything I've gone through this was bothering me? Why? Was it everything just piling on top of me? Was Robin's diagnosis the thing that broke the dam?

Maybe I should have just ended it back when I was in highschool. I sat down on the closed toilet lid, no if I had killed myself I would have never met Tommy. Tears brimmed my eyes as I thought of some way to help myself.

It then hit me, I needed time. I needed to be alone and away from everything. No one needed a vacation more than I did. No no no, nobody can know. They'd try to stop me or send me away, Stephanie tried to do that once, and no one was going to try and do that again.

Sitting down in the room I shared with Tom, I opened a bottle of whiskey. Pulling out clothes from the drawers I packed them into my duffel bag, chugging the booze here and there. Back when I was younger I always used booze to help, it numbed any pain you were feeling.

When the bottle reached half way I stopped, finished packing, and stuck the bottle in the bag. Grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, I quickly wrote a message down. Then I took one last look at the house, I was so grateful Tom let me stay here. With tears running down my cheeks, I closed the front door and locked it.

"I hope Tommy will forgive me." I whispered, walking slowly to the bus stop.

                              The End
A/N: I can't believe I finished a story on here, think I should write a sequel? Thank you so much for the votes and comments!