Sisters Of The Moon

Chapter 9

  (tw: attempted suicide)                         

"Lindsey!" I screamed, running closer to him. He turned around at the sound of my voice, "Em? Steph?" Stevie ran up behind me, "Lindsey! What the hell?" 

"This band is all going to shit and it's because of me!" Lindsey exclaimed. I pulled my coat around me, "Honey, the band isn't breaking up!" "We're sticking together Linds!" Stevie yelled. 

"That's not what Mick said!" Lindsey protested. "If this band was breaking up, is it worth you dying? No Linds its not!" Stevie screamed at him, tears brimming her eyes. "Where's Mick?" 

"Back at the bar." Lindsey mumbled. I turned around and ran back towards the cop cars. "Where are you going?" Stevie yelled. "I'm talking to Mick, you stay here." I responded. I drove the car down the road and to the bar, sitting outside on the curb was Mick. I ran out of the car, slamming the door behind me. "Mick what the hell?
"What do you mean Em?" "Lindsey is about to jump off the fucking bridge that's what!" I exclaimed. Mick stood up, "Off the bloody bridge?" "Yes!" I yelled, "He says you blamed him for the band maybe breaking up." "I was drunk." Mick slurred in his British accent, "I didn't mean it." I sighed, "You still are drunk and so is Lindsey, hence the overreaction."

 I grabbed Mick's hand and pulled him to sit down on the ground again. "Tell me what's going on Mick." He ruffled his hair with his large hand, "Lindsey and I went out to drink, we started talking about Stevie and you. I told him he was wasting time just fucking around with you and you deserve better. He said that's all I was doing with Stevie, which isn't true. So we started arguing and got more drunk, I told him it was time to move on from Stevie and he wasn't having it. I told him if he continued like this, the band could break up or he could end up leaving. Then here we are." I patted Mick's shoulder, "He's definitely more drunk than you if he thinks jumping off a bridge would help." "He did some lsd too." Mick mumbled. "Fuck." I groaned, facepalming myself. 

"Should we go back there?" Mick asked. I shrugged, "Stevie probably has it covered." the tall drummer thought for a minute, "Maybe he should hear it from me, I'm the one who caused this." I stood up, "Mick, this isn't your fault but c'mon lets go." 

As we drove back to the bridge I thought about how crazy this all was, of all people to try to kill themselves Lindsey was who I least expected. 

I had locked myself in the Nicks' bathroom upstairs, no one was home I thought. I stared at myself in the mirror, my dark hair was ratty framing my face, under my blue eyes were multiple bags, and my breath smelled like tequila. I sighed, sitting down on the closed toilet. I didn't know what was going on through my mind, I felt dead inside as tears rolled down my cheeks. I stared at my wrists, tracing the scabbed over scars. I couldn't take it anymore, no one wanted me and if they did want me they couldn't handle me. I couldn't be a burden to the Nicks, they had enough to handle.

 I reached for the razors I set by my feet, the silver glistened in the dim light coming from the dying light bulb above the mirror. I started to slowly drag it against my pale skin, I bit my lip and closed my eyes as tears formed under my eyes. I looked down at the blood bubbling from the cuts, I stopped to just let it all sink in. That was when I heard someone knocking... "Hey, Em you gonna be out soon?" Lindsey called from the other side of the wood. I stood up quickly trying to find something to wrap my arm in and hide the evidence. I started to feel light headed from the lack of blood. "Fuck." I cussed under my breath, steadying myself with the towel rack and failing as I fell to the ground taking the rack down with me. 

Upon hearing the loud thuds Lindsey knocked again, "Emily? Whats going on?" you could hear how concerned he was. "N-n-othing." I stammered as the room began to spin. 

"I'm coming in!" 

"N-n-no!" But it was too late he was already trying to break the door down and I could barely talk let alone scream. The door flew off the hinges and Lindsey stopped in his tracks at the sight in front of him. "Oh Emily." He muttered, digging through the towels on the ground. After he found one without blood he began wrapping it around my arm tightly. I blinked trying to focus on something, "Hey stay with me!" He commanded, slapping my face lightly. Lindsey wrapped his arm around my waist, trying to help me up. "Is anyone else home?" He yelled down the stairs. 

Lindsey started to slowly get me to walk down the stairs with his help. As we reached half way down the stairs Stevie and Barbara happened to walk through the front door with groceries in their hands. They dropped the groceries and Barbara let out a scream, it was pretty shocking I could imagine. Stevie picked up my other arm, throwing it over her shoulder and helping me down the stairs. Barbara had ran into the kitchen to call an ambulance and tell Jess what had happen. 

The paramedics quickly arrived, placing me on a gurney to roll into the car. Lindsey sat in the ambulance with me as Stevie and Barbara followed behind in their car. I turned my head to look at Lindsey, tears filled his light blue eyes. He held onto my bloody hand, giving it a light squeeze. 

"I'm sorry." I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks. Lindsey wiped them off with his other hand, "Its okay Emmy, just don't do this again. Please? You're not a bother or a waste or whatever you're thinking that made you do this. We all love you so much." 

I nodded, I was crying even harder now. It felt like a dam broke, there were so many tears. 

"I love you guys too."

Parking the car back on the bridge, Mick and I ran back over to where all the cars were parked. Stevie was crying and so was Lindsey, I gasped as he started to come down from the ledge. He slowly walked over to where I was standing, past everyone else, and engulfed me in a hug.

"Don't ever do that again." I whispered into his curls.

A/N: I havent updated this in awhile, expect slow updates since I'm trying to update some other ones too. Hope you enjoy this one!