South Park Goth Kids: Dawn Of The Posers

Chapter 3:Difference Between Goth and emo

[The loading dock at the side of the school, day, the Goths' usual gathering spot]

Pete: And that's all you know? what else did she say?

Michael: She said that her parents called her an emo and she had to go to this camp for two weeks.

Pete: [flips hair] Oh my God, for two weeks?

Firkl: Is she at the camp now?

Michael: I don't know. [scrolls through his text messages] She texted from the bus they put her on, then she said she wasn't even allowed to have her cell phone where she was going. Then all of a sudden her texts went dark.

Pete: [softly] Whoa...

Firkl: That's fucking creepy man.

Michael: [gets up and walks a bit] I just can't believe it. I can't believe parents would do that to their child.

[Child Protective Services, day. The three remaining Goths go to talk to a worker there]

Worker: Alright now, you say that you witnessed your friend being abused by her parents.

Michael: Yes. They called her an emo.

Worker: What's wrong with that?

Michael: Emos suck! Their vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes!

Worker: So, why do you think they called her that?

Michael: Because she's Goth, and some ignorant people don't know the difference!

Worker: What is the difference?

Pete: Oh my God! They're totally different!

Worker: Okay, different how?

Pete: They're achm, you know, one is good and an' emos are horrible! [flips hair] You're, you know... They're posers!

Firkl: Emos suck my Goth balls.

Michael: Alright alright, think of it this way: a Goth believes that deep down the world is totally fucked up. But an emo thinks that deep down, they are totally fucked up.

Worker: That's not much of a difference.

Pete: That's a huge fucking difference!

Michael: Okay okay, look, emos are more prone to suicide.

Pete: This fuckin' bitch, man.

Michael: But Goths are more prone to be depressed that so many people commit suicide

Pete: Goth's darkness is nihilistic whereas Emo's is cynical.

Michael: Wait, I thought we were cynical. ...What what whatever, it doesn't matter.

Pete: No, see, you're nihilistic.

Michael: Oh yeah, you're right