First Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018}

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Looking into Trey's dark eyes all I see is the pain I have caused him. The twinkle that was once there has been replaced with a fire of pain and anger. I hate that I'm the one who caused that pain. I am not a cheater and yet here I am deserving of a big red A painted on my shirt. I don't think this is something I'm ever going to forgive myself for.

"Hey, Nicole is everything ok?" I hear Jeremy say as he opens the door. I've never been so grateful for someone interrupting as I am right now. I don't think Trey would ever hit me but that look he has is breaking me and I only have myself to blame. A love that was so strong is now shattered into a million tiny pieces.

"We are fine man so if you could give us some time alone that would be great," Trey says with no emotion. His voice is as empty as his eyes. I know that look well. After all, I walk around with that look in my eyes every day.

"Nicole? You good?" Jeremy asks me not caring about what Trey has to say.

"I'm sorry Trey. I...I... gotta go." I say choking the tears back. I look at Trey knowing it was going to be the last time I was going to see him. I wish I wouldn't have. Now that look is going to be what I will always remember, not the smile that was just on his face moments ago. All those happy memories are now tainted by this moment.

"Nicole please don't... don't do this..." Trey was pleading as I turned, walked inside, and closed the door on him both literally and figuratively.

Little did I know that breaking up with Trey was going to cause a downward spiral of bad choices to numb the pain causing myself even more pain in the end. The thing about having so many demons hidden from everyone is you never know when they are going to break out. It's not a matter on if they break out, it's when.

"Hey, you ok Nicole?" I could hear the worry in Jeremy's voice so I did what I am a fucking pro at. I pushed the feelings back and put a smile on my face.

"Yeah, I'm good. You know me, takes a lot to get me down." I say with a little laugh and playfully nudge him. "But I could go for some drinks tonight. Is everyone going to Dodge's house tonight?" I ask while walking back to the hostess stand.

"Of course. What would a night be if we all didn't go over there and party after work?"

"Awesome. Well, I better get back and I hear the cooks calling you." I give Jeremy one more fake as fuck smile before grabbing menus and taking a group to their table.

I did my best to not think about Trey. I kept my mind busy by cleaning like some OCD crazed person. It made the night go by pretty fast. In no time we were closed, everything was cleaned up, and shut down. Liz and I were ready to party the night away.

Dodge lived with his sister Kim and her kids. It was a pretty big house in a cute neighborhood. The house had a very homey feel to it. Which is surprising since it was the party house for The Point employees. It was something they did almost every night. Pretty much everyone we worked with except for the teenagers shows up. I've only been to one since I spent all my free time with Trey.

When I walk in there are already a dozen people here drinking, smoking, talking, and dancing. The Point was like a big family. Sure there was drama but everyone looked out for each other and made sure no one was taken advantage of. A huge plus to not going to any more college parties. I didn't have to worry about someone spiking my drink or getting a little too handsy when I've had a little too much to drink.

Kim and Dodge are big classic rock fans so there is always some hair metal music playing in the background. I don't mind it though. I'm a huge fan of classic rock too. Well, I really like any music with a good beat. Music has a way of taking you somewhere else. Something as simple as a song can change your mood. People that don't like music I will never understand.