First Shades of Love {WATTYS 2018}

Little Do You Know

DODGE'S POV

I've been going through hell this last week. I keep trying to call Nicole but she only hangs up on me as soon as she hears my voice. It has been pissing me the fuck off. Does she think she's the only one going through this? I even try to talk to her at work but she only walks away.

I see the sadness in her eyes but she's acting like she, no we, didn't just go through something. I want to tell her it's ok. I want to tell her how I cry everyday over the loss of our child. But... I have no right to do that. I handled everything so fucking wrong.

I know she's breaking apart even though she's laughing, smiling, and partying every night. How can she act like everything is ok? Can't she see I'm not fucking ok? Can't she see that a part of me died that day?

I've been going to the bar every night to keep an eye on her. There's something else that's off about her. It's been there for months but it's gotten worse lately. I don't know what it is but I have a feeling it's not good. When I see her talking and flirting with random guys at the bar, it makes me wonder if it's my fault. She's still my girlfriend and she's doing this to punish me. Well fuck that! I'm not doing this! I'm not playing these little fucking games! I've watched her do this in front of me for a week now. I can't watch this shit anymore.

"Nicole we need to talk!" I say taking the pool stick out of her hands.

"What the fuck is you're problem Dodge?" She yells with so much venom laced in her tone and I'm about to lose my shit.

"What the fuck is my problem? Are you fucking shitting me? I'm not playing these games with you Nicole. What the hell are you doing? Do you just want to get a reaction out of me? Well congratulations, it worked!" I yell back at her not caring who hears.

"It's my body and I can do what I want right? Those were you words remember?" She says with emptiness, throwing my words back at me just to hurt me.

"Fine if that's how you want it to be then fine. We're fucking done!" I say not meaning a word of it. I want to hold her. I want us to work through this together.

"We were done a week ago Dodge." She says with a smile and a chuckle shaking her head.

Fuck that hurts. How can I fix this? I don't want this. This isn't how this was supposed to go. I need her but there is no light left in her beautiful hazel eyes. The girl I fell in love with is gone and I have no idea how to get her back.

"Do you need something else?" She asks rolling her eyes at me.

Without thinking I grab her waist and pull her to my lips. I want her to feel everything I'm feeling. She starts to return the kiss and for a second I feel like I can get her back. It was the best second of my life but the second passes and she pushes me back.

"Damn it Dodge! What do you want from me?" Tears are now streaming down her angelic face. The pain is so deep. I knew I wasn't good for her and this is the result of not wanting to let her go.

"I'm sorry Nicole. I will give you the time you need." I say with a piece of me breaking apart. I storm out of the bar before she can say anything else. I'll love this girl for the rest of my life.

NICOLE'S POV

When he walked out the door, I was so pissed. All he had to do was tell me he feels the pain like I do. Why can't he just let me know I'm not alone?

"Hey Nicole, it's your shot." Rob calls out to me. I quickly wipe my tears away and plaster a smile on my face.

"Ok, I just need to hit the bathroom and I'm all yours." I wink at him and walk to the bathroom.