☼ YoonSeok OneShots ☼

✩ will he ✩

!!! WARNING !!!

This One-Shot contains angst, smut, some graphic language.

A/N: This was inspired by the song "Will He" by Joji, it would really set the mood for the one-shot so if you want i attached the song next to the chapter!

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His long boney fingers were hitting the same keys on the piano over and over again, his whole body aching from what seemed like pain deep down in his heart, that was now beating way too slow or maybe way too fast - his body not winning any relevance in the the chaos that was his life right now. The room he was in was cold, a window fully opened, letting the cold air of the night invite itself into Yoongi's room, different bottles and food bags were scattered around the apartment, which was now engulfed in silence. He rested his head on the piano, his eyes closing. His eyes were dry, and it hurt to keep them open, he has never cried so much in his life. It was all his fault. Everything that he had with Hoseok disappeared into thin air, all because of him. He wanted to take back so many things, and to add so much more but he couldn't, fear and rejection holding him back. He felt as if he didn't deserve forgiveness. Not from Hoseok, not from himself. He hated every ounce of his body, he wanted to scream, he wanted to destroy himself.

- a month ago -

"And that's exactly why I'm saying you don't trust me! It doesn't matter what I say does it? You will continue being a whiny piece of shit that you are. God.... you piss me off so much it's almost as if you never learned how to be fucking normal" The words left Yoongi's lips, making him regret them by the second. He wanted to catch up to them, hold them back, throw them out into a trash can of lies. However it was already too late for that. Hoseok finally looked up from the ground, his glossy eyes now looking at Yoongi with such devastation, such sadness Yoongi wanted to cry. A sob left Hoseok's mouth, his body falling on the ground, his hands wrapping themselves around his small frame. Yoongi lowered his hand to try and comfort him, multiple sorry's coming out of his lips, but it was already too late - Hoseok cried out a scared "don't touch me", wrapping his hands around his body a little tighter. He couldn't process the words coming out of his mouth, each word so hurtful and wrong, digging deep down into Hoseok's skin. He didn't think this evening was going to turn out the way that it did. He was waiting for Yoongi at home, food already heating in the oven. He has missed Yoongi a lot. He was a busy man, his job on a very tight schedule, new projects coming in every other day which meant more work trips, more of their time spent separately from each other. But something Hoseok really didn't expect was a message from an unknown number. A series of pictures and screenshots appearing on the boys phone screen that now reflected a face full of concern. With each word he read Hoseok felt himself sinking deeper, tears blocking his vision, he didn't even want to talk about the pictures in which his Yoogi was in someone else's arms, his face red, his gaze hazy, his body exposed to the camera. Only Hoseok was allowed to see Yoongi like that, only he could take pictures like that, but it seemed like someone already took care of that for him, making Hoseok's heart break. When Yoongi came home he could smell the burnt chicken in the oven, running to the kitchen, it all being a mess. After taking out everything that was left of the food out of the oven he made his way to the living room hoping to find the boy there.

"What did you do to the poor chicken? I was really looking forward to eating it you know-" His voice at first happy then quickly silenced as he saw the boy in the living room. His back was pressed against the couch, his eyes even though fixated on the TV not catching a single thing, they were now dull, without a single emotion, tears streaming down his face. The fight was long and tiring, draining both of them, each sentence breaking their hearts even more. Yoongi didn't know what to do. He felt such regret and sadness. That one night on his business trip to America he was just devastated. He hasn't seen Hoseok in so long, he missed his touch, his presence, he wanted to feel Hoseok's body against his. It all started getting to his head too much, thoughts like that clouding his mind with sadness. Yoongi didn't want to think, and he didn't. He went to a small local bar and got shit faced alone, it seemed like hours since he came there. His coworker, however, didn't have good thoughts rummaging through his head when he saw him that night. He was fighting an endless battle of one sided love with Yoongi and it seemed like a good opportunity. The two men sat at the bar for what seemed like forever, Yoongi's rambling about Hoseok never seeing its end. Yoongi was so drunk, so lonely he couldn't even register someone's body on his, touching him, groping him, almost as if he was detached from his body that was now caving in to it's sexual needs.