ONE MORE TIME - brallon drabbles

with our hearts in songs

// Brendon listens to Dallon's sad playlist after they broke up.//

No one really knows how they broke up. Some say Brendon had been verbally abusive. Others say Dallon ignored Brendon's undying love for him. Everyone can only assume and create theories to fit their preferences.

But Brendon knows how it happened. He regrets that moment so much and he hopes that Dallon does too. He won't explain it to anyone not even his best friends. Even if his best friends promise to not tell anyone, he won't take that risk.

Knowing that Dallon might just be fine or happy, hurts Brendon, to an extent where he can't explain it. Some days the pain is like a sting that your parents explain when getting shots. Most days feel like the memories they had sit on his shoulders.

That takes us to Brendon sitting at the edge of the bed with his hands on his face. It's another episode of crying because of past thoughts. No matter how hard he may try, whether it's hooking up or even attempting a relationship. It ends the same each time. Brendon can't get over Dallon. This one fucking breakup is holding him back from being able to sustain another relationship. He ruined Brendon entirely and surely, Dallon doesn't know this.

He eyes the laptop with tears and decides to listen to something. Perhaps, music will be a cure from the tears. Brendon logs into Spotify after booting the laptop up. His teary eyes wander toward the "Friends" tab, where it showed who you are following and what they listened to on their last visit or the last time they played the app.

FRIENDS

ryanroos — now
Chemicals (feat. MNDR)
Oliver, MNDR
" time to jam "

jonnieiswalkin — now
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
Eurythmics
" Throwbacks "

spencesmit — 2 mins ago
Penny Lane
The Beatles
" Relapse "

dalweekes — 5 mins ago
Boyfriend
COIN
" :(( "

so-obviously-stupid — 20 mins ago
Don't Ask Cuz I Don't Know
Jon Bellion
" Translations Through Speakers "

Brendon viewed the names and frowned as his eyes made it to Dallon's name. The frowny face playlist must be new since Brendon has never seen it before. But the song and band is familiar. Dallon told him about the band once but Brendon doesn't remember that conversation well.

Since being logical isn't Brendon's forte, he decides to listen to the sad sounding playlist. The first song that comes up is a song by an artist named Set It Off with the song "Bad Guy"

And the lyrics hurt to hear for Brendon.

"I stole the moon...I made the stars align and showed you how to fly...but you made the bad guy..."

The songs reminds him of the time that Dallon showed him how to play the bass guitar or when Brendon taught him the piano. He clearly reminds how happy they both were. Sharing a smile with one another while they goof around. But it takes simple yet harsh words to break a bond that meant to last forever.

He sighs at the song and skips to the next one.

"But I remember the nights when you'd lie with me...? Where we'd talk and we'd touch and we'd fall asleep...? I wake up in your arms and I'd feel at ease."

The next song called "Long Nights" by With Confidence brings back memories of after sex or just straight up cuddle nights. Brendon attempts to create that feeling all over again. Dallon's arms wrapped around him and his face buried in his neck. However, you can not recreate warmth built by two with only one.

Tears come back with a luggage of more hurt, more memories. Brendon keeps telling himself that the pain is just for now. That it'll go away like every other person. Pain doesn't stay for too long but it stays long enough to hurt.

But Brendon knows he won't get over this bump. He'll try and try but he'll always end up bruised and knee-deep in emotional shit. Someone completely ruined him and it was never their intention to.

He laid back and fell on his bed. His blurred eyes on the ceiling and his earbuds on. The songs are to painful to listen to but if Dallon listening to them for comfort, then, Brendon should do the same.

Brendon mouthed words he wanted to say to Dallon but he never could gain the confidence.

"I'm sorry."

"I miss you."

"I promise to be better if you'll do the same."

These words will never be heard or said and that's a fact that pains Brendon. Although the future may seem dim at the moment, he'll get over it. He has to. He knows Dallon would want him to.

•••

oof, sad brallon that was done pretty terribly. we all can't get what we want, right? also, about to finish Stranger Things 2 and ya girl is shook. have a great day, okay? <33