ONE MORE TIME - brallon drabbles

he's not you and never will be

// Every time Brendon looks at the new guy, he expects to see someone else. Someone who's not here anymore. //

It happened.

Dallon left the band.

Not necessarily in the way that people think. Dallon hasn't been part of the band in a while. He just quit the touring job to pursue his own project.

At least that's what Brendon received for an explanation. Yet there's an feeling that sat in the bottom of Brendon's heart. He thought that wasn't the full story. He thought there was something else to the reason to why he quit the job. Could it be the actions of the past between them? Brendon perhaps will never know.

As for now, he's waiting for the show the start since another Panic! album has been released. He shouldn't be thinking of an event that happened over five months ago. But Brendon can't let go of it. He can't believe he let one of his best friends go. He doesn't want to believe the man he had a crush on is now no longer part of his life.

Even with these conditions, Brendon is afraid to speak to him again. There are fears of rejection, hatred, and disappointment that rise every time Brendon thinks to call him or simply just message him.

Brendon watches his touring band mates smile and chat with the new bassist. Ollie Newman. He's an average height man with pushed back brown hair and hazel eyes. The guy has been nothing but sweet and kind. Not to lie, Brendon is trying his best to grow on the guy, however, it's so hard for him to.

Brendon recalls the day that Ollie tried out. It was at his home and he didn't feel the best when watching him. Ollie wasn't terrible, he's actually really good!

But, however, last time, there was a best friend and a member of the band with him to watch bassists play. Last time, there were only a few number of people who tried out. Last time, there was a tall, blue-eyed guy who only knew a few songs and had to be sent home to learn the chords. Last time—

"Brendon?" Ollie calls for his attention with his soft voice, just like Dallon would.

"Yeah?" Brendon looks up at him and stares dead in his hazel eyes.

"The show's starting in five, I thought you needed a head's up. Are you okay? You seem kinda zoned out." He smiles and sits beside Brendon on an elevated platform backstage.

"I'm fine, y'know, this is the first show I've ever played without...well, you know." Brendon sadly smiles at Ollie before looking at the ground again.

"Ah, yes, Weekes. I don't know him personally or your connection with him but I'm sure he's very happy with you releasing another album and performing because you want to and to make people happy with your music. Don't be sad after all, this is your first show in a while and you should dedicate it to Dallon. Play for him. Show him the appreciation he deserves." Ollie speaks just like him and hearing this feels as if Dallon's presence is here once more in the form of a different person. Before leaving, Ollie gives him a pat on the back and heads toward the other band mates leaving Brendon alone once more.

He's right. It was definitely a stupid move to not leave a note about Dallon's leaving the day it happened but maybe he could make it up. After all, Brendon has a plan to do so.

A stage assistant is calling a minute for the band to get on stage. Brendon stands up and takes a breath. He'll make this first show right. Right for the crowd, his band mates, and most importantly, Dallon.

•••

Throughout the show, Brendon's mind can't adjust well with Ollie being the bassist. Every time he turns to look to his left, he expects to see a guy with damp brown hair covering his blue eyes. Every time Brendon moves closer to his left, he wants to wrap his arms upon a tall stature who would kiss his hair and be able to feel the taller guy's smile atop of his head.

But Brendon always realizes that the person he's thinking of isn't here anymore. And Ollie will never be Dallon, no matter how much he acts like him. The person he thinks about left over one-hundred days ago. That's too many hours and too many minutes. Despite the harsh reality, Brendon wants something that is unattainable.

The show is ending soon and the rowdy crowd awaits for the final song that the band will do.

He's going to make this right.

"As you all know, my friend and really amazing guy, Dallon Weekes, isn't a part of this band anymore," Brendon turns his head to see Ollie. "This guy, right here, is taking Dal's place! Give it up for Ollie Newman!" The crowd cheers for him happily. Brendon's glad the fanbase have accepted him. "After eight or nine years, Dallon parted ways with Panic! but don't worry! He's got his own cool new band called I Don't Know How But They Found Me! And to commemorate, we'll be a singing a very special song for Dallon. Hope you like this, bud." The lights dims and the crowd quickly hush.

This song isn't a song that they would usually play. The band has never played this song live. It's not a radio hit or a fan favorite. Not even Brendon himself wrote it.

"She don't leave makeup after her kiss...all the boys at night think that she's their's. All the secrets that you keep...might get spoken while you sleep..."

The crowd's yelling and screaming starts up again and some even live tweeting this event after realizing the song was "All The Boys."

It feels right and wrong to sing this song. He hopes Dallon will get word of this, which is the good feeling in his chest. The bad feeling comes from the fact that this song was created by Dallon himself. It feels wrong to sing the words of someone else.

He continues for the audience despite the contradicting feeling in his chest.

•••

After the show, the band heads out int the city and decide to drink to celebrate tonight's successful first show.

Brendon feels so much happier than he has the past five months.

While he smiles with his friends and drinks more than he probably should, a text pops up in his messages.

"Thank you so much, Brendon, for tonight's performance. You did amazing as always."

It's from the tall guy he misses a lot. His heart is fluttering and he's getting all warm inside. He really shouldn't be feeling this way after one text, it's silly.

"No problem, bud. Just wishing you the best with your work. You're probably gonna be just as or more amazing."

Satisfied with the text, he sends the reply with a big, stupid smile on his face. A few of his friends question the look on his face but Brendon doesn't mind.

He views his phone and see that Dallon's texting back. With a simple show and text, Brendon's future days seem so much better than before. Even if it involves getting used to someone new.

•••

Yiggity yo!! Hope you're doing amazing! I'm here again after a super long amount of time. I really need to stop apologizing for a mistake I keep making over and over. How do y'all still read my works?? I'm inconsistent as heck. Gotta give brownie points and props to these dedicated readers!

And yes, part two of the previous one-shot, I'm just having a little trouble with it! Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope you have an amazing day! ❤️