ONE MORE TIME - brallon drabbles

a regret of a heart

// Brendon should have said yes but he didn't. //

He sits on the sofa with two photo albums in his hand. One of them is during a tour and the other is a more personal album. Deciding to open the family album first, he smiles at his kiddy photos. There he is, in a form of photo paper, playing outside with his older brothers.

How he longs to feel like a child once more. Where the silliest things made you sad, not rejections or mistakes that you can never fix. Where it was simpler times and things didn't get so overcomplicated in the mind. When Brendon was a child, he was one to never be cautious and often did things without thinking. But even after growing up through many years, he learned that lesson in one sentence.

Brendon attempts to ease his mind off the event that happened years ago. He keeps looking through the photos and his heart went through a roller coaster of sorts. It flies up when reliving pictures of his young childhood but it goes down when seeing pictures of the band back then. He looks back at his younger self with a band composed of his best friends, that end up being strangers as time grows old.

The family photo album is put aside as Brendon's exchanged it for the touring one. When he eyes the cover, his heart begins to beat a little faster.

"V&V Tour! (2011-2012)" The cover read.

The photos is the best things to Brendon, seeing all the silly shenanigans they did together. When they all got hammered at a bar or the time when they all sung in harmony together on the bus.

It hurt to relive these memories. Spencer was doing okay and Ian was someone he learned to grow on. Then the pictures of Dallon began popping up.

Brendon found the tall, dorky bassist to be someone he would always want to be with. Whether it was the stupid gay act on stage or talking about quantum physics before a show started, Brendon cherished those moments with the guy.

He wishes he realized it sooner when the blue-eyed man had already wanted the same.

He shifts in his seat on the couch and his heart drowning with emotion. Brendon's eyes begins to feel damp as pictures of where Dallon and he hugged or did their silly yet heartbreaking act. He can't stop regretting what he did. It was so idiotic of him.

The memory replays in his head all over again.

"Brendon?" Dallon called for Brendon's focus after calming down from laughing attack with the guy in front of him.

"Yeah?" Brendon smiled and looked Dallon right in the eyes, which held something he couldn't describe.

"You know, I—" The tall man stopped talk to shakily sigh. Brendon saw the change with Dallon. He was beginning to fidget with his fingers and his concentration wasn't steady like before. "This going to stupid but-"

"Nothing you say will ever be stupid, Dallon!" Brendon lightly smiled.

"Right, I just, uh, okay, here I go," Dallon took a deep breath and set his blue eyes' focus on Brendon. "I—well, I like you, Brendon. And I just don't understand why, I mean, I do. You're perfect, y'know.  I want to wrap my arms around you and kiss you all day. It really hurts just thinking about it. God, I just like you so much, it's unbearable."

Brendon sat there, taking in every word. He was in shock, what would he say back? Dallon doesn't realize—

"I'm sorry if this is weird. Who wouldn't find this weird? I just thought this would be the right time. After all the messing around on stage, I can't just spend my days while you are around, smiling with your cute smile you always do that make me weak." Brendon saw the way Dallon was like, head hung low, an obvious blush on his unseeable face, and the constant stopping with his sentences.

"So, please, would you like to go with me someday? And perhaps, be my boyfriend?" Dallon looked like he was going to get whatever wasn't promised.

"D-Dallon, I—I have a girlfriend." The shorter person spoke shakily. Dallon's eyes seemingly popped out of his head and began to look around in a fast pace.

"I'm s-so sorry. Dammit, I'm an idiot. O-of course, you have a girlfriend. I'm—so sorry, please just forget anything I said. Don't let that change us," Dallon stood up and walked away from the main room of the tour bus to his bunk.

Brendon bit his lip and decided to not go after him. The wound of Dallon's heart was fresh and it was his fault. Waiting it out sounded good to him. Brendon should have told him about his girlfriend. He felt absolutely terrible. He broke someone's heart with a simple sentence.

Dallon was really sweet, going along with the act, talking to Brendon often, and was all around a great guy. Despite all these traits, Brendon could not reciprocate the same romantic feelings Dallon had for him. He thought he never will.

After that day, things between them didn't go too well. Less socializing, the act had been cut down, and Dallon looked defeated and broken.

Although Brendon saw these changes, he did nothing.

When the memory had ended in his head, he was curled up with his hands wrapped around his knees. The tour photo album on the floor with the photos scattered on the wooden floor.

Brendon is weeping over what he said.  Irony and karma had come around; Dallon left the band and Brendon falling in love for the man he denied having any feelings for. He lost his girlfriend and heard Dallon had gotten married.

That event of the past could have entirely changed the future. A future with a "them" and not just a "he." A future where  Dallon could have wrapped his long arms around Brendon and kiss him everyday.A future where everything could have been right.

"I'm s-sorry." Brendon whispers to someone he had known. However, that someone will never talk to him again. That someone will never give him a second chance after breaking his sensitive heart.

"P-please come back, p-please c-come back, p-please..." The lonely man chants as if it is all he knows what to say. He knows that Dallon will never hear these words and that he will never respond to them.

The man he is infatuated with is someone who has moved on from the past.

Brendon's one regret is not accepting the man's love. And now, the past has come to give him what he deserves.

He only hopes the future will be kinder to him. If he can get over this seemingly impossible regret of his heart.

•••

hA, sAD brallon thaf wasn't too sad. i feel terrible for not updating in a while, I think I've been going through a little bump of writer's block. please forgive me if this seemed a little too familiar to "with our hearts in songs", I just needed some angst? something to make me cry? idk man? hoped you have enjoyed! <33