Chapter 13

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Chapter Thirteen


Lisa's POV

"It's okay, Lisa. She'll be fine. She'll come home soon." Christina tried to calm me down but I couldn't stop my tears.

She was so hurt and it wasn't fair. I couldn't help her. Immediately after the terrible attack I knew that she couldn't deal with it. She was so different. Quiet but angry. Out of her mind. I wanted to help her with everything. I knew she loved Ethan like she loves our brothers. They were perfect together and losing him meant for her losing a really big part of herself.

But then her anger towards me started. At first I thought it was good because then she would have someone to blame. I thought that it was her way to cope with it. But her anger got worse and it turned into hatred and while no one else could get through her she isolated herself even more. And I knew there was nothing for me to do.

Now she ran away and I had no idea where she could be. On Wednesdays she would go to the library, I knew that because I followed her the first weeks. I was so scared she would do something stupid so I had to watch out for her. But it was the middle of the night and Christina just came back from driving around.

"Were you at the library?" I asked my big sister. Christina had one hand on my shoulder while we were sitting on the couch in the living room. She nodded.

"I did, she wasn't there. But listen. She always goes out a lot. Every Wednesday she spends her day outside. And she always comes home for the next morning."

"I know but she was so angry"

"She'll come home, Lise."

"Why would you know?"

"I just know, okay?" She was as nervous and as concerned as I was. She couldn't pretend to be that calm.

Nobody in this house was sleeping, even though it was four am. Mom, Dad, Mike and Alex were outside, looking for Lauren, even though it was like searching for a needle in a haystack. Katherine and Amy were making tea in the kitchen. Christian, Nick and Joey were in their room after Mom send them there. She said they should go back to sleep or play something. I guess after seeing their older sister being so scary they couldn't fall asleep.

Christina and I were just too nervous to do something.

"We don't even know when she'll come back. She could stay all day. Maybe we should call the police" I suggested.

"No. They wouldn't come. Lisa, she said she was going away. She told us that. They wouldn't look for her."

"But we can't do nothing."

"I know."

Mom and Dad came home at ten am. They waited at the library but Lauren never showed up. They were tired and scared and mostly Dad was completely done. Last night he screamed at her. I guess he felt guilty. I bet we all did, because the doctor in the hospital back then was right. When he treated Lauren for her shoulder he said she should see a therapist. He said she would need one for all the things that she saw.

Lauren refused to go. And so we let her alone. And that was wrong.

1:30 pm. Lauren still wasn't home. We were still awake. Joey took a nap on the couch. No one else fell asleep. Mom made some pasta that nobody ate. It was quiet. And I was scared.

4:00 pm. Still no sign of her. I was losing my mind.

4:30 pm. ...

6:00 pm. I had enough. I couldn't stand still anymore. So I took the phone and started to call all of Lauren's friends. But she wasn't there and they weren't really concerned. Lauren pushed them away. I mean I understand that they are mad at her after that. But she was broken and scared. Why did they let her push them away so easily? Maybe they could have tried a little harder. Maybe I could have tried a little harder. I had to. But I didn't.

I'm sorry.

I just ended the phone call with one of Lauren's friends when the phone rang. Grandma called. How could I explain to her what happened?

"Hey, Grandma", I greeted her.

"Lisa, honey. I think something terrible happened." she said. I was confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Lauren was here. Now she's gone and these pills are gone too."

No. This couldn't be true. No. Don't do this Lauren. I had to do something. I had to do the right thing. But what was the right thing? What was I supposed to do? What would Lauren do? Where could she be? Where could I find her? My head went crazy but it immediately knew what happened and what Lauren was about to do or what Lauren already did. My worst fears were coming true.

"When did she leave?"

"Like about two hours. Lisa, she's not home?" Grandma sounded so helpless.

"No. But I'll find her."

"She left a note."

"I'll find her."

I just hung up because I didn't want to know about a note. A stupid note. No, there wasn't a note. Not my Lauren. My ladybug. I'll find her. I'll find you, Lauren.

But where could she be?

She was at Grandma's.

The place.

That place Ethan, her and I always went to when we told each other stories and when we planned another day. But I needed an hour.

I took my jacket and run to the door.

"Where are you going?", Christina asked. I couldn't lose time.

"I think I know where she is. No time. I explain later!", I just said and then I sprinted to my car and started the engine.

"Don't do something stupid, Lauren. Please hold on. I'll be there soon."

I probably broke a docent driving rules because of speeding but actually I didn't care. It was for Lauren and I couldn't let something happen to her.

I needed 55 minutes to the parking lot and then I run up the stairs. She must be here. Somewhere.

"Lauren?" I asked screaming. I screamed her name over and over again.

"Lauren! Lauren!" No answer.

I walked down the sidewalk and looked everywhere. Maybe I had the wrong place. Maybe she was somewhere else. But where?

Don't panic, Lisa. I turned around once again and then suddenly I saw something on the ground behind a bush.

I run to that place.

Lauren. Pale, sleeping, an empty bottle next to her and no movements. No. Please don't.

I rushed over to her.

"Can you hear me?"

"Lauren!"

"Lauren!"

No answer. I called the ambulance while crying and while touching Lauren's cheek. Why didn't she wake up?

"It's okay, Lauren. The ambulance will come soon. It's okay. Open your eyes. It'll get better. I promise you. I love you"

I waited for the ambulance, while holding Lauren's lifeless body in my arms.

"You won't die, understand? You won't. You'll be fine. You can wake up now, Lauren. I'm here. You're not alone. We'll fix this. We'll get through this together." My tears were falling on her face and I wiped them carefully away. Never have I ever felt so helpless.

"Don't die, Lauren. I love you."

Sorry it took me so long to update but there is another chapter. I hope you like it! :)

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