The Side You Don't See (Yaoi Boyxboy)

26

While we packed up our things Kizumi stuck close to my side. He was mad that he didn't get to sit with me on the way home, but I fulfilled his request so now he had to listen to mine. I zipped up my bag and looked over at my friends. They were all messing around and talking with one another. They all suddenly were cracking up over something Yuji said, and it suddenly struck me that none of them knew what had happened between Kizumi and him.

All they really had knowledge of was the fact that the two of them were just tense around each other. It wasn't something I was ever going to tell them about, though. They didn't need to know, and I certainly didn't want them looking at Yuji like he was a bad person.

I genuinely wondered why Yuji had ever done any of it in the first place. He'd never struck me as someone who could be so terrible...I didn't see him as a bad person, even now. There must have been some kind of reason. As a kid Yuji had actually been very demanding, despite how nice he was. I suspected his demanding nature had turned into something else over the years, but I was curious as to what that was.  I didn't want to casually ask him, though. I didn't want to start anything up.

The teachers all brought us outside near the bus and asked us to grab a partner to sit with and file in neatly. Yuji was about to step away and find Isaac, but I took his sleeve to stop him. He seemed surprised and I smiled lightly saying, "Kizumi said he'd sit with Isaac."

"He...did?" He looked at me surprised, and almost...sad, in a way. I watched as he looked over at Kizumi who was standing with Isaac, hands shoved in his pockets. He glanced over at Yuji, making eye contact. Isaac pulled his attention away though, suddenly blabbering about something. Kizumi only half listened, but at least he wasn't focusing entirely on the fact that Yuji got to sit with me.

We all piled onto the bus and I chose a seat somewhere towards the middle of the bus. Issac and Kizumi took the seat next to ours. Both Kizumi and I sat on the edge of the seat so we would be closer to one another. Isaac and Yuji took window seats. We all waited for the bus to start moving, and when it did Yuji sighed a little.

"Finally going home...thanks for sitting with me, by the way." He smiled at me. I nodded and returned his smile.

"Convincing him wasn't easy." I joked. It felt kind of weird knowing that I literally gave Kizumi my body in exchange for a chance to sit with Yuji, but he didn't need to know that. Ever.

"I'm sure it wasn't." He laughed a little and the looked down at his hands. "...I really..." He trailed off a little.

"Yuji?" I was concerned with his expression. I watched as he looked up discreetly at Kizumi. Kizumi wasn't paying attention to us, though. He was looking at something Isaac was showing him on his phone. Once he saw it was safe he continued.

"I know my apology seemed pretty terrible a while back." He told me. "But-"

"I know. You had to do it so Kizumi would believe you. Apologizing to him is different than apologizing to me." I said. He looked at me surprised I knew what he was going to say.

"Yeah..." He said. "It really is."

"I'm not mad, you know." I told him.

"Shirou...you really should be. I did something terrible. I can't believe you still want to talk to me, even." He sighed.

"Come on, Yuji. You know me. I'm not that spiteful." I told him.

"I know...I just think I shouldn't be forgiven so easily." He sounded more sorry than I expected. "I really am...sorry..." He kept his eyes on the ground, just like when he was apologizing to Kizumi and myself. When he was little he did this, too. Every time he was in trouble and had to say apologize his eyes were glued to the floor. This was how I knew it was genuine.

"It's okay...at least you came forward and tried to fix things." I told him.

"Yeah, after you got hurt." He looked away from me in shame. "I hadn't meant for things to spiral out of control like that. I knew he was going to eventually crack but...I didn't know it would come down on you."

"Why did you do all of that?"  asked him suddenly. He laughed a little bit, shaking his head.

"I had never even said a single word to him and he glared at me like I was beneath him...I just can't stand people like that. I wanted to get it through his head that he isn't as tough as he thinks, I guess." Yuji explained it and I understood entirely. I was right about there being some reason for what he did.

"I see..." I nodded. "I'm sorry he made you feel that way."

"Well...it is what it is." He said.

"It's not that he thinks he's better than everyone, though." I told Yuji quietly. "Kizumi just...doesn't get along with other people, and he's hot headed, and stubborn...the list really just goes on and on. You know, the first time I ever met him he nearly beat me into the ground." I shook my head, remembering that day.

"Really? What happened? You don't really seem like the kind of person to hang around kids like that." He was asking how we could have possibly gotten together.

"I'm not." I laughed. "But I got stuck as his partner in English. The more time I spent around him the more I realized that he wasn't just some angry, horrible person. He's really very sweet, and he cares about me a lot. He's just...not good at socializing. Some people aren't."

"But if he can be kind to you why can't he be like that with other people?" Yuji gave me a frustrated expression.

"He's not exactly 'nice' to me like you're thinking. It's just that I've spent enough time with him to experience his good moments. You wouldn't believe how horrible he used to be before I met him, Yuji. He was terrible to people. He beat kids up all the time, got suspended a lot, never listened to the teachers at all..." My voice was even quieter now.

"That's insane...jeez." He widened his eyes.

"I think...he just needed to meet the right people." I said thoughtfully. "You have to give him some credit for how far he's come. The only reason he acted so badly towards you from the start was because he was worried about losing me. Like I said, he's much more sensitive than people think. He's self-conscious, and he knows how bad his attitude is...he doesn't like it either, but that's how he is. My friends and I have come to accept it, and we've learned how to work with him so that we can all get along."

"I guess you would have to...You and him are polar opposites." He remarked. I nodded.

"Definitely...but we also match very well together, I think." I said. I was surprised at how easy it actually was to talk about this.

"You do." He agreed, smiling a little.

"Stop worrying. Okay?" I told him and nudged his arm. He nodded and looked into my eyes. "Pretty soon it'll all pass and we can all get along just fine."

"Ah...well...until I move, at least." He laughed.

"You're moving?" I felt my heart sink a little.

"Yeah...my Mom wants to live a good five or six hours from here in a smaller neighborhood." He said to me. I was relieved he wasn't going too far, at least. I mean, that was a long drive but it was better than being so far I'd have to take a plane to see him.

"I see...you better visit me, then." I told him.

"Don't worry, I will." He promised, laughing just as brightly as usual.