Becoming Bone (ON HOLD TO REWRITE)

Chapter 5

Olivers Pov.

It's been 2 days since Jace kissed me. Things have been the same as usually, for the most part. That night I woke up in the middle of the night and when Jace crawled into my own bed, so nobody would see us laying together. We haven't talked about it yet and I honestly don't know what to say. I mean, I really like him but I don't think he really likes me. It feels more like a pity kiss the more I think about it.

"Hey." I say with a small grin, trying to lighten the mood. A few of them attempt a small smile back. Nobody's been called in yet. It goes in alphabetical order so...

"Casey." the nurse calls and he goes up to the scale. We all are in goans so we don't find a way to fake our weight. "Do you want to see your weight?" she asks him and he nods. We watch him as he closes his eyes before stepping on. We hear him take in a sharp breath. "Okay." she says writing on the clipboard. He steps off and grimly makes his way over, sitting back down.

"Jace." she calls and my eyes immediately go to him. His face is pale and his hands are shaking. Oh how I wish I was in those hands right now. "Would you like to see your weight today?"

"Please." he whispers. He steps on slowly, staring down the whole time. I watch him as a sob wracks through his body. It's a terrible sound. His shoulders shake as he cries. I want to comfort him but I don't. I don't want to cause him more problems. I watch as the nurse gives Carol a look and they both nod their heads.

Jace steps off and doesn't bother sitting back down. He goes back up to his room and we can hear his cries from down hear.

---

Surprisingly I stay calm during my weigh in. I've gained and it's terrifying, but I'm too worried about Jace to care right now. When everyone's done I make my way up to our room to see Jace curled up into a ball, crying.

"Jace?" I ask him. He sniffles, not looking up.

"What?" he asks.

"Are you okay?" I ask feeling stupid as I say that, knowing he's not.

"No." he says, his voice filled with lost hope.

"It can't be that bad." I say trying to lighten the mood. He jerks his head up and looks at me.

"Can't be that bad?!" he shouts. "I'm getting fucking tubed! How is that not that fucking bad?!" he snaps at me, tears streaming down his face. My mouth hangs open. I had know idea. I didn't even know they did that here.

"I'm so sorry." I say approaching him. I sit on the edge of his bed and he stares at me. He looks like he wants to yell and scream and throw something, but he doesn't.

"It's not your fault." he says. "It's my fault. I can't even do something as stupid as eating. I'm pathetic, huh?" he asks me desperately. I lean into him.

"No." I tell him. "No you're not. That why we're all here."

"Says the one not being tubed." he sadly snaps back. He leans down and puts his head in my lap. I run my fingers through his hair as he calms down.

---

After weigh in we have group. It's an hour after so everyone gets some time to themselves first. Me and Jace walk in, hand in hand. We enter the living room and he lets go of my hand. Leaning his head on my shoulder instead when we sit down next to each other. We start group and Jace just so happens to be closest to Carol.

"Jace, how was you weigh in?" she asks.

"You already know." he says.

"Well would you care to share with the group then?" she tries again. He lets out a sigh.

"I'm getting fucking tubed. Whooo." he says with fake excitement and tears filling his eyes. The others looked shocked.

"What!?" Will says. "Are you serious?" he asks.

"Yeah. He ate a scoop of potatoes. He's trying." Julian adds. I hear Jace let out a sad laugh beside me.

"It's fine. I lost weight so... the deal was if I lose, I'll be tubed. If I stay I'll get another 2 weeks to try again. If I gain, I'm good." he says trailing off. "Tube me up." he finished dryly.

"Once he's reached his first out of many goal weights, he'll be untubed and given another chance to voluntarily eat." Carol tells us.

"What's your first goal weight?" I ask Jace.

"It's...I have to gain 5lbs, but I'll probaly gain more than that while I'm tubed just to get me at a more stable weight." he says shyly. We all nod. "Can we move on now?" he asks.

"Yes, of course. Okay, Oliver. How'd you do today?" Carol asks. I tense up a little realizing that I haven't thought about it at all.

"Good, I guess. I gained." I tell her. They look at me like they're waiting for more but I just shrug.

"Are you glad?" she asks me.

"No. I mean yes. I mean, both, I guess. No because, well I'm gaining weight. And yes because I'm getting better, I guess. Maybe." I confess.

"You are. You're doing good. I'm proud of you." Carol says meaningfully.

"I hope so." I whisper. I don't think anyone notices when I feel a hand squeezing my own. I look over at Jace. he has a small but hopeful grin on his face.

"You will." he whispers and I can tell he believes it. Group continues end everyone seems to be doing good. Miles and Will maintained and they're both doing good with their weight. Julian gained a little and so did Casey. Juliana and Miles both started out really bad. Apparently Julian backtracked the last few months. Now he's doing good again.

When groups over we all disperse, besides Jace. He's going to the hospital to get tubed. Before group ended Carol explained that they have the hospital do it, even though our nurses could, out of caution. I talk with the other guys for a while before going up to my own room. I lay down yawning, just realizing how tired I really am. I fall asleep I Jace's bed with thought of him and I running through my mind.