Becoming Bone (ON HOLD TO REWRITE)

Chapter 10

Jace's POV.

It's been two weeks since the whole 'Will/date' incident. Now I'm supposed to get my feeding tube taken out. Honestly, I'm fucking terrified. I know I've gained weight and I can't wait to lose it, but I kinda want to do good. For Oliver. I just feel like if I'm doing good Oliver will do good too. Even though that's probably not true.

But I know that that's not going to happen when my feeding tube comes out. I just feel bad because I've been pushing Oliver to corporate, and he has been. Well, not really, but more than before.

"Jace, are you ready to go?" Carol asks me, bag in her hand.

"No." I grumble. Oliver was leaning on my shoulder so I didn't want to disturb him. But sadly he lifted his head off of my shoulder.

"You should go." he says to me and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever." I tell them.

"Well then don't just sit there." Carol tells me with a smile.

"I'm coming. I'm coming. Don't rush me." I say standing up. Carol just rolls her eyes at me and I laugh. We get in the car and head back to the hospital. It's a silent car ride, but not an awkward silence. Carol can tell that I'm nervous so she doesn't strike up a conversation with me. It's a short ride to the hospital and I'm not happy to be here. If they want me to get better shouldn't they keep me on the feeding tube, when I know I'm going to mess up when I'm off of it. I let out an exasperated sigh which earns a chuckle from Carol.

"Come on, let's go." she says to me and I obilide. We walk in and Carol walks over to the elevato and we head up to the second floor. She steps out and goes to the lady at the desk.

"Hello, I'm here to see Dr. Yung." she says.

"She's with a patient right now but I can get her after she's done. Do you have an appointment?" she asks us.

"Yes, under Jace Cameyo." she informs her.

"Okay I'll send her who she's free." she tells us and we nod, walking over to the waiting room. I flop myself down on the uncomfortable plastic chair with a sigh.

"She's busy. We should just go." I tell Carol, which earns a laugh.

"You're not getting out of this that easy." she says to me and I groan. After a few minutes of waiting in those uncomfortable chair, Dr. Yung greets us.

"Hey, nice to see you come in for a good reason Jace." she says.

"Well I wouldn't say it's a good reason. More like the end of recovery and basically the end of my life, but whatever, it's a good thing." I say sarcastically.

"You're over exaggerating." she tells me like she knows me.

"No, I'm not. But none of you understand that so let's get this over with. Take out my stupid feeding tube." I grumble out, angry at her. None of them understand that this isn't going to help me, it'll hurt me. But they don't get it, so whatever. Go ahead and watch me go in a downwards spiral you asshats. After a half hour we were out of there and heading back to the house.

"Come on Jace, this'll be good for you. Stay positive about this." Carol tells me and I scoff.

"Be positive?" I ask and she nods her head. "Okay, well, I'm gonna fuck myself over with a smile on my face. That's about as positive as I get." I tell her. She just shakes her head at me. After the short ride we were back at the house, much to my displeasure. It's time for lunch so I go sit at the table. Oliver sits next to me. I see him give me a small smile but I ignore it.

I'm just gonna disappoint him anyway.

The nurse sets the plates in front of us and everyone reluctantly grabs their fork and starts eating. Besides me, of course. I notice that my plate has less than everyone else's. Then I remember Carol saying something about a smaller portion because my throats not adjusted yet. But I also have a bowl of soup next to me. Oliver nudges my arm and I slowly turn my head to look at him.

"Yeah?" I ask, even though I know what he's gonna say. Not the exact words, but the overall gist of it.

"Are you going to eat?" he asks me with a concerned and confused face.

"Uh, I don't know." I answer semi honestly.

"You said you'd try if I tried." he says almost desperately.

"What?" I question, not knowing what he's talking about.

"You told me that if I tried eating that you would too, once you got you're feeding tube out." he tells me and I remember the conversation. We were in the room and he was sitting on my lap on my bet. When I held him he just felt so small, even though we were practically the same in size. I felt like I was gonna break him with a wrong move.

Flashback - 3rd person point of veiw

Oliver was comfortably sitting with Jace on his lap. He didn't notice Jaces discomfort because he didn't do anything to make him think that something was wrong. Then, as Oliver was drifting into sleep, Jace asked him a question.

"Can we make a deal?" He asked and Oliver turned his head to see his face.

"What do you mean?" Oliver questioned back.

"A deal. If you try to eat then I'll try too. Well, obviously after I get by feeding tube taken out." Jace tells him.

"Why? Where'd this come from?" Oliver asked, generally curious.

"Because when I hold you I feel like I'm gonna break you. You're just so small and I really care about you, like really, really care about you, more than I probably to be honest, considering we barely know each other." Jace tells him.

"You're small too." Oliver retorted back.

"I know but I don't see how small I am. Well I do but I don't at the same time. Does that even make sense? Whatever, I'm asking you to do this because I want you to get better. You deserve so much more than this." Jace says.

"So do you." Oliver says quietly, to the point that he almost misses it.

"That's why we'll both try. We'll do it together. So will you? For me?" Jace asks.

"Okay." Oliver agrees and Jace smiles so wide his face looks like it might break. With that said and done, Oliver turns back and returns to his position. As well does Jace, putting his chin on his shoulder.

Flashback over

I look at him and he looks so sad, like I betrayed him, that I have to eat at least a little. For Olivers sake. I pick up my fork and scoop up a small spoonful, putting it in my mouth while sending Oliver a smile. He returns it and goes to focus on eating his own food. 

I slowly, very slowly, continue taking small bites. It actually does hurt my throat so I quit and take a go at my soup. 45 minutes later I'm done with my soup and got as far as I'm getting with the rest of my food. I glance at olivers plate, which is about 3/4ths finished. I smile at him but he's still staring at his plate. I tell the nurse that I'm done and she smiles at me seeing that I finished the soup.

"Good job Jace. And with that tube just taken out too." she say to me. I nod my head and wait at the table for oliver to finish. He takes a few more bites in the next 15 minutes before saying that he's done. I'm happy that he ate so much.

 It kills me knowing he's just like me. Fucked up and believing that he's not good enough, even though he is. He tells me that I'm to good for him but really, it's the other way around. He deserves someone better than me. Someone who's normal, or at least trying to be. I'm not even trying to get better. I'm only eating so Oliver will get better, because if I eat, he'll eat. He really does deserve better than this. He deserves to be happy, to be healthy, to be normal. And I really wish he could see that too.