Dying•Wishes

The first to know

March 18, 2018

Today was supposed to be my doctors appointment to see if they can do some sort of surgery with my lungs or something. I wasn't really listening when they were telling me what was going to happen but it's not going to save me it's just to lessen the pain. I told my doctor I didn't want to go through with the surgery. It's not that I want to be in pain, but if I decide to do it then I'll be in a coma for a week and a half. I don't know how many more days I have but I know that a week and a half is well over half of the time I have left. And if it doesn't work I would die before my death day.

I was walking out of school with my friends, talking about the most random things you could think of. But before we could turn the corner of the school I got a phone call. It was my mom. I knew she wouldn't be happy about my decision and this is how she's going to try and change my mind. I tell my friends to keep on walking and as soon as they all turn the corner of the brick wall, I answer.

"Hell0—," I say.

"Lucille what do you think you're doing! This might be the only chance you have at feeling comfort and you say you don't want it to waste your time!" She says, cutting me off. I look around cautiously before I answer.

"Look, I know, but the odds of this working out are terrible, I don't want to waste over half of my time left on earth in some stupid coma," I say.

"Having cancer hasn't ruined my life, it will end it, but I want to live as long as possible in this normal state and not waste these days praying that a miracle happens," I hear a gasp. But it wasn't coming from the phone.

I turn around to see a boy with shaggy brown hair and emerald green eyes. Chase. He stares at me with wide eyes before he starts running. I hang up and start running after him, already knowing his intentions. I grab him and put him in a chock hole. But I don't choke him.

"I'm begging you please don't run, let me explain just don't run please," I beg. He nods his head. I pause a moment before I sigh and let him go as I fall to the floor, holding his hand with two of mine.

"I'm so sorry," I say, on the brink of tears.

"I'm so, so sorry," I repeat, he looks down at me.

"Why? Why did you keep this from us? Why do you ask me not to tell anyone? Just why?" He says. I look up at him. His eyes are watery and my eyes start following that one tear falling across his face.

"I'll tell you everything but we have to catch up to the group or they'll get suspicious," I say, shaking a little. I guess I've been hurting myself from keeping a secret such as this.

"Just don't tell them, please," he nods and wipes his eyes. He helps me stand and then we start speed walking to the group. We catch up to them and I mentally cross my fingers he won't say anything. He didn't, but he wouldn't stop staring.

**
Why am I sooooo cringy!!!! I'm so bad at making important chapters.