sent ➳ phan

131

(tw?: slight sexual content)

phil

the ride home is as quiet as it could be. i tried whispering comforting words and putting an arm on dan's shoulder to perhaps, make him feel better but none of it seemed to work. he stayed motionless on the seat beside me, just staring at his lap, not even sparing a glance in my direction

i'm almost certain that carter is his ex boyfriend and it hurt to see dan like this. just when he was getting better, he saw that horrible excuse for a human being. i'm not sure what carter did to him but with his reaction, i'm sure he didn't treat dan well and it's breaking my heart.

he looks broken, like he's on verge of tears, but no tears are coming out. his bottom lip is quivering, he looks so afraid. i just want to scoop him up and my arms, hold him tight and never let go.

the moment i lead him to his room, he pushed me flat against the door and pressed his lips roughly against mine. it caught me by surprise but i kissed back gently, trying to soften the kiss but dan is having none of it. he pulls back, holding my bottom lip between his teeth before letting it snap back. i gasped but before i could even catch my breath, he's kissing me again.

that's when i felt his hands drifting lower and lower until it reached there. he was fast to undo the fly and the zip. i immediately felt his hands cupping me through my boxers and palming it. i couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my lips.

that seemed to spur dan into continuing as i gasp and let out noises against his mouth whilst we kiss. until i felt something wet on my cheek and realised that something is definitely not right.

i immediately pulled back to see that dan is really crying. his eyes are closed.

i felt a tug on my chest, i should've stopped this earlier. "dan? are you okay? i-i'm so sorry i—"

"please don't leave me." was the only thing he said through his broken sobs, "i-i can be better. i swear."

i let out a sigh and wrapped both of my arms in his waist tightly. he reciprocated easily, wrapping his arms around my torso just as tight. his fingers tugging on my back.

"i'm not going to leave you." i rubbed his back comfortingly, "shh, it's okay, i'm here. i'm not leaving you." but that somehow made him cry louder, his face on my chest.

it's difficult to see dan in this state and i wish i could do something to make him stop hurting but nothing's working.

i love him so much and i hope he'd believe that someday.