All I want is.......

Letter#28: From Ivan to Alice

My dear sister Alice, 

I hope you all are doing good.  

I wasn't very surprised when I got your letter. It is very evident from your letter that the grandeur of the Stauffer mansion was affecting you greatly and you are talking the same way as Bella and Lawrence. Anyways, I don't blame any of you. 

I want to inform you that because you all are always against Sam, so we are shifting back to Toronto. I cannot see Sam sad and frustrated every time. Everybody behaves oddly with Sam. You all pretend as if she doesn't exist. But you all should keep in mind that she is my wife and family. You all are supposed to respect her the way you all respect me. I think she deserves it. 

It always happens that whenever you all are with Alexandra and all your past memories are revived, all you think is that I am the one who is not playing his part correctly.

Alice, Alexandra was my past. Sam is my wife, my present and my future. Sam helped me when I was vulnerable and emotionally challenged. She changed my life, gave me the happiness of being a father. Very soon, I will have my own family and then I won't have much time to worry about anyone else other than them. I won't have to worry about Alexandra and her whereabouts. I will have their futures to plan and their responsibilities to carry out. 

Jake is my brother, my friend. I warned him that this marriage will bring him temporary happiness and a lot of pain afterward but he didn't listen to me and technically, it was his own wish to marry her. He loved Alexandra as long as me. 

Alexandra can never be happy again. She might smile in front of all of you but deep on the inside, she is full of guilt, pain, and memories locked up inside her. She is not dying because of her illness. She is dying because of her guilt. I know her. She made my life miserable and slipped away quietly. I never wanted to leave her and perhaps that is strong friendship and not love. 

I am happy for Jake as he is starting his new life very soon. May he stay happy as long as it is destined. May he lives happily with anyone he likes. 

Alice, I don't regret staying here and I chose not to go there because her smile would have made me uncomfortable. I am happy that you enjoyed. Berlin is a beautiful place, so go and do some sightseeing while you're there. Do click some pictures to show me.

Take care. Don't stay out a lot in the sun. 

                                                                                                  Love you       

                                                                                                           Ivan