75 Days of a Zombie Apocalypse (Complete )

Chapter 9 - Comforting Eyes

It's been a little awkward being around Ross because of the feelings, that I fought myself over won. I didn't want to do something as in messing around with him but then end up making a fool out of myself or someone seeing and thinking something else. I ended up staying up all night trying to fight myself with this crush I developed earlier that night. It's like the angel and devil that normally sit on people's shoulder got eaten up by me roughly and landed in my head, the devil laughing because he won, the angel crying because she lost.

It's gross

It's not

He's younger than you

By three years

He's only thirteen

I know

You're gross

I know

Like someone your own age

And with that, I tried to force myself to go asleep, but my brain still wandered about this, my mother, this, Cher's shitty statement, Dave, Demi, this, me, this, me...It's an endless cycle of my feelings and what's actually happening here. Ross noticed too, that I wasn't as fun as yesterday and I wouldn't blame him; I was messing around with him and Dave, me taking off Ross' hat and messing with his hair and now today, I've kept my left hand on my backpack strap and I've shut down, looking at the ground. Dave saw it too, but more quickly than Ross. He even asked me a few times if I was okay, and I just replied with yes, a system that has already been wired in my brain. The one thing that struck me was when Demi tapped my shoulder, causing me to turn around and looked at her surprised and to stop walking. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Demi said, giving a short laugh before it was replaced with a smile. 

I returned one back at her, "It's alright." 

"Did I break your thoughts?" she asked, removing her hand and starting to walk, making me follow too.

"A little bit," I said

"I'm sorry," she said and gave a smile, "I noticed you seemed a little bit down today." 

Shit, shit, shit, no, shit, please no, fuck no, shit...

"A little," I said and looked back at the road, "Just been a hard time recently, you know?" 

"I completely understand," she said, "And I bet You heard what Cher said, didn't you?" 

I looked back at her, She's asking me that? I expected the other thought controlling my life at this point.

She let out a sigh, "Cher doesn't like new people much, even though she and Louis were the last ones to come before you, your dad and Dave. She always had a thing against people, it's not only you. She doesn't understand kids that much either...Don't take it wrong, I don't have anything against you." 

I still just looked at her. 

"I trust you more than I do Cher, and I know you wouldn't take control of my son, let alone anyone else," she continued, "I know you're a good person, even though I've met you two days ago, I can just sense something about you. I really think it's sweet how you are so connected with him and letting him hang out with you and Dave, he needed people his own age, you know?" 

I looked down and gave a smile. She then placed her hand on my shoulder again, causing me to look back up at her.

"Thank you," she said and gave a little smile, pausing us in place.

I nodded and swallowed, "Of course." 

She gave a bit more of her smile before she let go and continued walking, leaving me to stare at her as I stood there.

"You alright, sweetheart?" my dad, following up behind me.

"Yea," I said, actually feeling a bit better, "Just had a rough night, that's all."

**********

"Jess, you alright?"

I looked up to see Ross standing in front of me. We had taken a short break from walking since we've been at it for six hours now and still seem to be getting nowhere. We sat down on the dirt hills and the trees as the when you look to the right, the trees began disappearing as we face more into town. Rosey sat playing in the dirt as Demi had to repeatedly take her out. Zedd and my dad talked about what we would do once we get into town to find a place we could spend a night in and what supplies we should look out for. Yon and May talked about whatever what was on there mind, the same with Cher and Louis. And Dave found joy in playing with Rosey, trying not to get dirt on himself while Rosey herself been pouring handfuls on dirt on him. He smiles as she pours the dirt on him, making Demi laugh a few times until she gets tired of it, but Rosey doesn't stop, for she is finding the joy in the life that doesn't have much of it left. And here I sat, looking up at Ross as he towered over me, talking to me for the first time today, and I could see in his eyes that he actually meant the concern that came out with it. But I couldn't say a word without feeling weak or wanting to blush, my crush has taken over me, making me obscene from Ross, and it's all that I want to think about, but when you start about someone that is in front of you, it feels like they can read your thoughts.

"Yea just had a rough night," I said, with the calmest voice I could muster, even though it wanted to come out of my vocal cords as flat as it could be, I made myself bigger than that. 

"Did the eye staring throw you off?" he said, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, Ross," I said with a smile, feeling my cheeks get warm and I could feel the color put through, "You staring didn't upset me, it was a relief, I'm not so uptight." 

He gave a small smile and sat down on the dirt next to me, putting his arms on his knees and looked at his mom for a second, and then back at me when he started to talk, "Your eyes said differently." 

 I didn't say anything, I didn't even meet his gaze. I felt so ashamed of myself at that moment. I wish I could've gotten up and dug myself a hole in the dirt and cover up myself back up once my whole body was in the hole. I opened my mouth for a minute than closed it. He probably knows, there isn't a way to lie and deny it. 

"I'm sorry," I slowly said, him looking at me, "I just found...Comfort I guess." 

"Well, I'm glad you can find it in me," he said as I finally looked up at him, "I know you've been through a lot and I want to help you as much as I can." 

He took my hand in his, making my breathing stop for a moment as I stared at what he had done then back at him. 

"You welcomed me, now I've welcomed you," he said with a smile, that could kill me, and he didn't even have to try.