Confidence || Jikook

xviii

Please listen to this song while reading. It hits me the hardest...

Something was wrong.

"I love you Jimin." And he meant it with all of his heart. Taehyung has always loved Jimin and it hurt that when he saw the blond after school, the older was... off. Jimin wasn't as clingy and barely made eye contact. His mind reeled back to lunch time when Jungkook and Jimin tried to sneek back to their table undetected.

"..." Just like before the blond was silent, picking at the ground with a long stick. The weather wasn't too bad for a calm walk home, the type of walk that was usually accompanied with their jokes and giggles.

He knew something was wrong when Jimin and Jungkook came back all giggly, blushing whenever they made eye contact. He should have said something. He knew this would happen. "Please say something." Taehyung was grasping at straws, praying he could salvage any part of their relationship. "I... I know that I'm technically the only one who's said it but I've always loved you Jimin. You mean so much to me and I'm glad we're toge- Why are you crying?"

Fresh tears slipped from Jimin's eyes, the guilt pulling them down with ease. "Stop being so nice all the time." It was a quiet statement, faint against the crunching underneath their feet but Taehyung heard it clearly.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be nice to my beautiful boyfriend?" Jimin felt so torn, now at a full stop, leaning over to cry. His hands collected most of the salty tears before landing on the mushy snow.

"Please. Stop." Something was definitely wrong.

"Stop what?"

"You have been so patient yet I can never give you what you ask of me." Taehyung kept quiet, mind not fully processing the full extent of what he was saying. Maybe he didn't want to figure it out, for as long as he could. "I don't love you." He could only live in ignorance for so long.

The red head felt the wind knocked out of him, lungs burning at the lack of oxygen. Jimin's soft figure blurred, cloudy behind Taehyung's newly formed tears. The first of many. "I-I don't... understand..." It was hard enough getting those words out, his thoughts and feelings still stuck on precious memories. Jimin loved him, he was so sure. "I thought you just needed time t-to say how you feel- I gave it to you because of your situation-" Taehyung was in self distruct mode. Everytime a situation became too much to handle, he started having panic attacks.

His lungs weren't strong enough to keep him steady when he saw Jimin shake his blond head. Taehyung wasn't sure if he was gasping because of his sobs or because his body was trying to protect itself in some way. "I- I love you as a friend Taehyung... The reason I can't love you the way that you want is because my heart already belongs to another."

The red head wanted to fight this feeling of helplessness. "Did I not treat you well enough? Was I not caring or loving? Was I not attractive enough for you? I don't understand!" He squats down to cry in between his knees, attempting to find some sort of shelter.

"Taehyung, please. You did all of that it's just..."

"Just what?" He stood up to scream at the older. "I gave you every part of me and I thought you did too! We... we were so happy..." He tried to think of their time together without falling apart.

"No Tae... you were so happy."

¤¤¤

Hoseok's heart couldn't handle much more of this.

Taehyung insisted on coming inside of his house after the persistent knocking. He also insisted on taking up the entirety of Hobi's couch, cuddled up in a blanket while being rocked back and forth by his caring friend. Taehyung tried to the best of his abilities to explain how he got dumped by his first love and how he can't stop crying and feeling sorry for himself.

Even if Jimin is doing the same thing to Taehyung as he did to Hoseok, the brunette wasn't going to let Tae fall into a pit of despair. Not again.

"I-It's like he doesn't- even care- about me." Soft hiccups accompanied his tears, the boy started to calm down only a few minutes ago.

Hoseok was in love. "I'm sure he does Tae but... he's being honest with you and himself. Although what he's saying hurts, you can't help the feelings you will still feel for him after all this is over."

Taehyung didn't want to read too much into what the dancer was saying. He completely forgot about Hoseok's confession when he came running here. His feet just took him to where he felt safest. "Thank you for being you Hobi."

Silence falls. Eye contact that should have only lasted a couple seconds, doubled in length causing heat to flush their cheeks. Hoseok adored every moment him and Taehyung spend together but the red head could only find Hobi's company uncomfortable at the moment. There was so much he wanted to say to his best friend, words of forgiveness to ease his heart of the confession.

He doesn't want Taehyung to believe that a relationship is all that he wants out of the red head. Not when he's so vulnerable. "I... I should go." The younger shifts his weight only to be pulled back onto the muscley thighs.

Before he could protest, Hoseok's eyes of sadness prevented him from speaking. "Please don't." As much as Hobi would hate to admit it, he couldn't bare to let Tae go. Every time it takes a little more away from him. "Stay with me." Where you belong.

Taehyung slowly nods, unaware that he is only going to torture his friend the entire night. But who could say no to such pleading eyes? "Okay hyung. Just for tonight."

I'm going on a trip soon so I won't write much... :/ I want to end this soon but I still need to add one more character ;) Y'all should know who by now haha. Anyways, Happy holidays everyone!