The Things That Happen In The Night - Wolfstar

Chapter Twenty-One: Conversations

I haven't seen Remus since Marlene interrupted our kiss two days ago. James, Peter and I weren't able to get any further information about Remus from Madam Pomfrey. We talked to Dumbledore, McGonagall, and we even sent letters to Remus' parents. No one would tell us how Remus is doing. Remus seemed to be doing okay when I went to see him in the hospital wing, what changed?

With worrying about Remus, I haven't spoken any further with Marlene. I still have so many questions I need to ask her. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm about to be a father and in about five months no less. I'm so unprepared for this and I feel angry at Marlene for not telling me sooner.

I find Marlene in the Gryffindor common room and I ask her to follow me into the corridor. It's a Friday evening, classes have just ended and I know I should start my homework but there's no use. I can't concentrate. "What are we going to do about this?" I ask Marlene as we sit in the mostly  empty corridor. She throws me an dirty look,"what do you mean?" I get the idea that she knows what I'm talking about but I clarify anyways. "What are we going to do about the baby? I mean, are we really ready to be parents? We still have two years left of school and neither of us have jobs."

"I don't know about you Sirius, but I'm keeping this baby. There's no way I'm just going to give him up. I'll figure something out." I sigh as I get frustrated by her. I wish we would see eye to eye more often. It would make this a lot easier to deal with. "I want to be there for the baby too but is this what's best?" I think for a minute before asking another question,"did you say him?" Marlene nods as she answers my second question,"yes, it's a boy. I just found out at my last appointment." If I wasn't still slightly shocked and completely terrified at the news of having a child, I would have been happy to hear this.

"What's going on with you and Remus?" Marlene asks the question that I don't have the answer to. I shrug my shoulders and lean back against my seat. Marlene continues,"if you plan on being part of this baby's life then you can't just run off with other people Sirius. We have to be a family." I get angry at her words. I should have known she'd act like this. Use this as a way of getting us back together.

"Are you sure you're even pregnant?" I ask. It's been bothering me these past few days. She wants so desperately to get back with me this past month and then she's suddenly pregnant? This doesn't seem real to me, or maybe I'm just too scared to accept the truth. "Yes, I'm sure. And if you don't believe me then I have proof."

I sigh as I drop the argument, not having the energy to deal with this right now. "When's your next doctors appointment? I'm going." Marlene looks at me, shocked. "You actually want to go?" I nod my head,"yeah." As much as I just want to get as far from Marlene as possible, I want to be there for my baby, to be the dad mine never was.

"I'm not sure if you can," Marlene says slowly,"I...I kinda told Dumbledore that I don't know who the father is." I stare at her in shock and for the first time I start to question if I really am this baby's father. With all that's gone on with Marlene and I, there is a chance that this baby might not be mine. "The baby's yours Sirius,"Marlene cuts me off as I'm about to ask if I'm the father,"I just told him that because if I told him it was you then he would've owled your parents about it." I nodded my head as I understood where she was coming from. Though I was still skeptical about if I was really the father.

"Well what am I supposed to do if I can't go to the appointments?" I ask feeling the need to be a part of things. Marlene thought for a minute,"until the baby is born? I don't know, but I can tell you about the appointments when I get back from them. And don't go wasting all your money, were going to need it when the baby comes." I nod my head and not for the first time this week, felt useless.

~*~

"Padfoot!" James came running into our room later that night. I sat up on my bed as be crashed onto my bed. "McGongall says we can visit Remus in St. Mungos tomorrow morning!" I jump up in excitement but soon feel nervous. Is he okay? What will I even say to him after what happened in the hospital wing last time I saw him? Does he even want to see me? I throw these thoughts aside as I jump up and tackle James in an excited hug. If we can visit tomorrow then that must mean he's doing better.

James and I talk a bit longer before I head down to the common room. Besides Marlene there was one other person I wanted to talk to today. I find her at a table in the middle of the room and join her. Lily looks up to see me and smiles. I haven't talked to her in a while and I need to talk to someone about Remus and Marlene. "Hey," Lily says as I sit next to her. "Hey," I reply as I try to figure out what to say. "Marlene told me," I say as I decide to go that route first. Lily nods her head,"Marlene told me she did. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.  I would've if she didn't." I understand why she didn't tell me."I just don't really know what to do, I want to be there for my kid but I don't want to be with Marlene." Lily nods slowly as she thinks,"yeah I understand. I'm glad things ended with you and her but this definitely complicates things. I'm happy you want to be there for the baby though."

"Of course I do, I just have the feeling she's using this as a way to get me back. Are you sure she's even pregnant? Like does she show symptoms or anything?" This has been bothering me so much. I just can't seem to accept the fact that I'm going to be a parent. Lily frowns a bit as she sympathetically answers,"I'm sure Sirius, she's showed me the tests she took, papers from doctors appointments, everything. And she definitely has symptoms. She's able to hide the noticeable ones mostly but I was there before she figured out how."

I sigh as this isn't what I necessarily want to hear. It's not that I don't want kids, it's that I don't want to have a kid with my ex. I honestly don't know how this is going to work out. "Thanks," I mumble as I don't know what else to say. There's an awkward silence before I say the next thing I feel the need to tell her. "I kissed Remus," Lily's mouth drops open as I give her the news. "Oh Merlin! That's great, Sirius! I'm so happy for you. I knew he liked you, are you dating now?" Lily gushed with excitement. I would share her excitement if things weren't so complicated.

"No, right after is when Marlene told me she was pregnant. In front of Remus." Lily's face falls as she realizes that this complicated things between Remus and I. "Oh, I'm sorry. Have you talked to Remus since?" I shake my head "no" as I run a hand through my hair. "I'm supposed to visit him tomorrow." Lily nods her head, probably not knowing what to say.

I stand up and am about to head back upstairs when Lily pulls me into a hug. I hesitantly wrap my arms around her, not used to being comforted by her but appreciating it all the same. "Thanks," I say to her as I pull away. "You're welcome. Shit, does this mean I have to go on a date with James now?" Lily asks as she scrunches her nose up in fake disgust. I've noticed the difference between the two and she's starting to warm up to him.  I nod my head and laugh. "Hey, I grew some balls so now it's your turn." Lily laughs and then sighs dramatically,"okay."