My dear readers. To be exceptionally honest wit you: I am drunk while writing this right now. And yes of course, I really must write every second word again because of some spelling mistake.
Nonetheless, what I deliberately want to tell you is that I am considering the situation of letting go. Only a few minutes ago, I came home from a cocktail night with a good friend of mine. We had a lot to catch up about boys, new details about our career and so on. Just a typical girl's night. I am assuming that a few male readers leave this chapter now because they think it's just about some ridiculous clichée-likely "men are such a**holes" dramas. Though it's not.
When I came home, I looked at the picture of my favourite singer, again. I usually see it every day but I swear if you're drunk, you see everything with a different view. I won't tell you the name of him, that would cause many problems.
The singer I want to talk about is "as dead as a doornail", as Charles Dickens would say. So it's very possible that it gets a lot harder for me to write about him in public than I normally do in private. He died over a year ago, when everything wasn't fine for me at all. Therefore some can suspect that I didn't take his death with lightness.
Likewise I looked at the picture in my room, so I saw all my lost hopes and forgotten dreams about what I wished when he was still alive. I don't want to write a kind of novel to you about "how it feels like to lose your mind and then find another one again". But still, I want to emphasise with people. With people I don't know about, who perhaps experienced the same as I did. I don't want to integrate into your thoughts too much, but still for me, these times were packed with so many prejudices and accusations, that it did not stop to hurt me.
Then I realised, it gets way easier to be more open-minded about your fears. I was frightened, and I still am. Of what people may say, or how karma reacts to it. Though, as well as karma strikes you in the way, you can beat it anyway.
To summarise the deliberate occasion for you of letting someone go: Don't do it.
If you love someone that much, it would be the most foolish thing in the world to say goodbye. Because goodbye stands for forever, and forever can be a long time.
I miss him very much. And I must admit that I don't really know for sure if I think about him every day or not. People only say that for not having a bad conscience.
So if you have the need to talk or write about it: Do it. No one is blaming you. The only real person who will always be in your way is yourself, until you try to change it.
