You wanted me to leave, so I did. The only thing I forgot was my heart. Because once you said I have yours and you had mine. Maybe that's why I cannot feel you anymore, you have no more heartbeat inside my body. It used to be warm and dizzy, now all I can feel is a bitterness and coldness that belongs to require for my own heart again. In fact, to get it back, I have to see you one more time, travel one more time to your place, to get back what's mine. I want to release me from the pain and the loss.
So this will be the third step. First one was out of pure excitement and no knowledge. The second step was out of pure love and naïveté. Though, the third one must be the last one and it is out of self-defence and self-love.
I have learned to love myself more than I love you. I need to take advantage of this opportunity that I have, to proof to myself and finally convince myself, that I do deserve better. Even after all, you still could be a potential part of my life, somehow. But I think we both know that we were wrong, and for some reason, we are not supposed to be together.
The clock will always be ticking and I don't want to wait any longer for a possible way that we can be reunited again. It hurts, because the truth is that I still love you. The second truth is, it's a waste of time.
So here I am, finally thinking straight-forward, or 'like an adult' as you would say. Still though, every day I will be wondering if that was the right choice. Life is full of choices, we never really know if we took the right one or not, that's the tricky paradox. In order to keep me out of this whole I set myself into, I don't want to dig any longer and start to find a way out of it. Because in the end, there must be a way to be happy without you.
