I remember waking up in the middle of the night again. At 3 o'clock in the morning I felt an awful stitch in my chest, like something tried to rip out my heart. My pulse was uncontrollable fast, and I could touch a wet pillow under my head from all the sweat I produced. Slowly, I tried to calm me down by thinking to myself 'it was just a nightmare'. I reached out for a glass of water that was still placed on the corner of my desk next to my bed, getting to think that by hydrating myself maybe the bad dream will wash away somehow. After a while of sitting straight in bed trying to figure out what and where the hell a dream like that came from, the tiredness overcame me, and I rushed back into sleep. But what had woken me up that night was not the first time at all. For a few weeks now I have been having these nightmares once or twice a week. 'Nothing really to be worried about' I thought to myself. It turned out to be something bigger when it started to get worse and waking up during my sleep was almost a daily routine now. It is quite funny how some memories from the past get twisted in my dreams to become something evil that haunts me until the daytime, so I have no choice but to become mad. I once read in a book that 'You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control.' So, what is there to accept? On what path should I go to understand what these hidden and twisted signs in my dreams mean to me? First of all, I think I need to explain myself here: I cannot see, feel or smell any kinds of demons nor some mythic spirits in my dreams. The only person that is waking me up every night is (let's say 'only') is the one who used to be my first big love. I cannot judge you by laughing at this right now, I would do so too by reading this completele nonsense from a stranger. Though, you can never tell how deep one can go with their minds to make the impossible possible.
