And He Still Didn't Fire Me

Anti Pick up lines

Last night was a blur. Lucas and I had our dinner at a fancy restaurant, where he was constantly addressing me as his date. Of course, my attitude begged to differ. Lucas' father had made it clear that we had to reach back home the next day, which is today. Lucas' private plane was not ready yet due to some problem regarding its fueling, so we had to take a commercial flight.

Yes, a commercial flight.

Right now I'm sitting in a departure lounge, waiting for our flight's departure to be announced. Lucas is sitting next to me, concentrating on his work. We reached the airport just 15 minutes ago including the custom and security check, and there are still 25 minutes to wait. I shifted in my seat, and crossed my legs. My gaze roamed the lounge, where everyone seemed to be busy and paying attention to their phone or laptops.

Business men and women. A sigh escaped my lips as I was reminded that I still have to work at the Banks Enterprises. It has been a month, and my relationship, well friendship or whatever it is, has progressed quickly. I really had no idea that I will let him know how much his effect on me is. Just a month ago, I would have been sitting in my room playing video games in my old and comfortable clothes, while ranting how I hate the world outside my room. If my father would tell me that I like Lucas and should accept it, I'd laughed at his face.

"I'm going to check those little shops they have." I said as I got up from my seat. Lucas simply nodded in reply. I walked towards a mini market and grabbed a bag of Doritos. What? I'm hungry. Paying for them, I advanced towards a glass window showcasing different beautiful types of jewelry. The piece that caught my eye was a plain platinum bracelet, with 3 diamonds embedded in the middle. It had a space in between the diamonds where your name could be carved in. Ignoring it for a while, I looked at another one, this one was a white gold bracelet with a heart hanging down. I decided to buy this one for Karen. After I paid for it, my gaze again settled on that bracelet, but I turned around just in time to see Lucas behind me, with his left eyebrow raised. I shrugged as I hid the velvet box in the back pocket of my jeans. I can't let him know I have a girly side in me, that'll ruin it all. My reputation, I mean.

"Doritos? We can't share a bag. You eat all of them." He whined playfully. I punched his shoulder with a little force and started walking towards our seats while munching on them. "Get them yourself then."

"Sure I will." He stated. I slumped down in my seat and continued munching on them. Lucas joined me after 5 minutes and we ate in silence, waiting for the announcement.


**************************************

"Sweetheart, Can you spare me the arm rest? My other one is taken by this fatty." Lucas whispered as he scrunched his nose in disgust. This commercial flight was pretty much a bad experience for the CEO of the Banks Enterprises. Period. Luckily I had the seat next to the window, and Lucas was between me and the man who didn't at once sit still but kept on shifting continuously in his seat for no particular reason.

"I think his butt is itching." I said as I continued reading the magazine I had in my lap. Lucas groaned and placed his hands in his laps, the position he looked really funny in. I snorted to which he shot me a death glare. I shrugged.

"At least for a little while sweetheart?" He begged.

"What's the magic word?" I asked, knowing I irritated him more.

"You can sleep with Lucas." He winked.

"Wrong. And it's a sentence, dumb ass."

"Please, sweetheart?" He begged in a tired voice. Deciding to give the poor man some rest, I removed my arm.

"Thank you so much, love!" He exclaimed with happiness. I simply smirked.

A good 10 minutes of peace later, Lucas whispered, "Can we throw him off the plane?"
Then he added, "Oh wait, he'll bounce back up and crash us." I let out a loud laugh at this which was soon muffled by Lucas' hand on my mouth. He shook his head at me, showing disappointment. When he didn't remove his hand off my mouth, I licked it. He quickly pried it off.

"What the hell?" He whisper-shouted. I shrugged innocently and went back to relaxing.

"So, we're leaving. Your place or mine?" He winked.

"Both. I go to mine and you go to yours."



"If I could arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." He tried again.

"Aw. I'd put F and U together." I replie dmy anti pick up line.



"What would you do If I ask you to marry me?"

"I'd die of laughter. So, nothing." I said and looked at him, as he rolled his eyes and huffed. I read a lot of these on tumblr.

"You're fat." Lucas said, in a bored tone.

"Your face is fat."



"Did it hurt when you fell from hell?"

"I'll see that when I get fired." I replied.
He turned to me with a curious look and mouth parted, and asked, "You seriously hate working here?"

I snorted, "I thought you wouldn't notice." I turned to face the window, but then I asked, "And why didn't you fire me yet?"

He frowned as he asked, "Why would I fire you?"

"Because, any sane person would fire me the next second they see my attire. Why, is peppered coffee really that good?"

"I won't fire you."

"Why?"

"It's fun having a stupid brunette in my office who acts like a hobo all the time." He replied in a duh tone. I rolled my eyes and averted my gaze to my phone. Playing 'order up' is kind of fun.


***********************************

Picking up my suitcase from the conveyor belt, I realized it's Friday. I have a weekend after a little vacation, sweet!

"You know, girls wait for boys to pick up their suit cases. And here you are, you half man." He patted my back in a boyish way.

"I hate you. I don't want any attention." I shrugged.

"I would have said something sour, but your mother's here. See you on Monday, Sweetheart." He said as he leaned in, his eyes not leaving mine. I stood still, and for a split second I thought we were going to do some public lip-locking. But then he kissed me lightly on my cheek, and smiled in a very 'Non Lucas-like way'. I stood there with my mouth open, knowing my mother's gaze was on me. As he left, he was still smiling at me, knowing that my mother is going to ask a hundred questions now.

Why didn't he kiss me on the lips like he usually does?

"You're an asshole!" I shouted behind him, not caring that I'm at an airport.

"An asshole you love!" He shouted back, not turning around. Stupid jerks with stupid attitudes and stupid styles.

I pushed the trolley out, and handed it over to my driver. My mother was smiling weirdly, not meeting my gaze. I guess she's assuming that we had a lovey dovey vacation, or maybe thinking of names for her grandchildren? Who knows.

"Candy my stupid daughter!" My father greeted me, with a cute smile. I grinned widely at him and hugged him tightly. I sure have a strong relationship with my father, more than my mother and I share.

"Go change before your mother charges at you with her questions!"He whispered as I pouted. I walked to my room and looked at the mirror. My brown curls were tamed into a high ponytail. My blue eyes were lively, and there were no bags under my eyes due to playing video games all the time. In short, I looked fresh and happy. I shook my head and smiled at my reflection, a changed version of me. I sighed and decided to take a shower, taking my red sweats and blue t shirt with me.

I can already feel my mother's impatience as I sit at the dinner table, who is staring at me creepily with a wide grin.

"Cut the chase. We are not a thing." I said, irritated.

"You will be." She stated, as if she knows.

"No we won't. I just can't wait to get myself fired." I said but my conscience snorted.

"I still can't believe you made it to a month." My father joined in.

"Even I can't. Even I." I sighed.

"Are you sure you are a total bitch to him?" He asked, gaining a glare from my mother at his choice of words. I and my father get that glare a lot.

"I am, dad. I am."

"And he still didn't fire you?" He asked, more to himself.

"And he still didn't fire me." I said, furrowing my eyebrows. I guess my standards of being a bitch match his standards of being an asshole.