All the time I spent with her just wasn't ever enough. She was my daily inspiration. Everything about her was perfect. I missed her so much and she had only been gone for no more than a few days. I wanted to feel her warmth again. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was that we were always a secret. I wanted to show her my affection. Show her off to the world. She was a living masterpiece, everything was just right about her. She made me feel alive. I was the happiest guy in the world when I was with her. She was just magical. Why did she have to go? I was going to ask her to marry me. It was to late now. She knew it was coming but never warned me. She kept it to herself. If I had only known how much she was suffering on a daily basis. But she always seemed to be smiling. She always looked happy. I never suspected her of suffering. What that evil stupid man had done to her was not right. She didn't deserve that suffering. She didn't deserve the pain. Oh, how lonely she must have felt when she was there lying hopeless on the floor. How she must have felt when that man did her wrong. How she must have cried herself to sleep. How she must have felt knowing her life was almost over and there was nothing she could do about it. She didn't want me to suffer, but now i just wanted to die. I wanted to burn that man alive. I wanted him to feel her pain. The way she must have felt when he raped her.
She was an angel and angels didn't deserve to be abused. If she would have told me she didn't have a ride that night I would of drove her home myself. I would of watched her, I would of left her at home nice and safe. I would of protected her from the stranger she encountered down the alley. She would of still been here with me at this instance. She would of been happy. She would still be alive.
I had received a letter a few days ago from her mom. She told me the news and I couldn't believe my little angel had left me. She had kept the secret to herself for almost a year. Her mom didn't even know her daughter had been raped. She knew she had been acting strange. But she thought it was stress from finishing school. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read her letter. She had gone through so much I had helped her with pains she had and I didn't even know. I had made her laugh and forget just for a moment that she had gone through that suffering. I didn't know how happy I could make her. I didn't know how she truly felt towards me. I knew we had a spark but not how big it had be lit up. I didn't truly understand I loved her till now. Maybe by a miracle we will meet again and I will confess everything that I had ever wanted to tell her. The letter she had wrote so carefully, the letter that made me realize what I lost was here in my hands. I kept re-reading it hoping maybe this was all a joke and she would come up to me with her lovely smile and tell me that everything was okay.
Dear Harry,
I just wanted to let you know a few things. Yes maybe you won't care what I say, but I hope from the bottom of my heart you will understand what I feel for you. I know you probably don't feel the same way as I feel for you. I really like you....I think it's enough to say I love you. Yes, I LOVE YOU HARRY STYLES. I wanted to let you know from the first day we met outside of the X Factor that I had this thing for you. Of course you didn't really know because I had kept it all in to myself. We talked now and then. I loved bringing a smile to your face. Sometimes you were really really down and I would do my best to cheer you up. It always worked and I thought that maybe you kinda liked me...but no I couldn't possibly let you know how I felt and you couldn't possibly like me. I kept it in. Well when One Direction started rising to fame I was there by your side the whole time. I know you probably didn't notice me there but I was there whenever you needed a lift. I conviced my dad to take me with him when you guys started touring. He worked with your manager and when you guys came to America I came as well. I made some merchendise that was quicly spread around. I liked all your guys' videos and shared them EVERYWHERE. I knew you guys deserved it! You guys had worked so hard. I remeber that day you auditioned. I was sitting there cause my dad was working. I heard the applaud and saw this adorable boy with messy curls. He had such a sweet smile. His introduction made my whole day! You were adorable on stage Harry. And when you started singing i was in a trance. Your voice was so...my God i can't even explain how lovely you sounded. I knew right away you were gonna make it big one day. Well past all the X Factor I started talking to you more when you were on your tour around America. I tried going to all the concerts and I imagined you singing those lyrics to me. I was falling in love. Then when you were on tour you kept talking to me more and more. I was falling more for you. I loved how we started becoming friends how you started giving me the randomest hugs at the randomest places. We went on "dates" no one knew about. Which was fine I enjoyed it just being the two of us. And I wasn't the most skinniest girl around but your arms fit perfectly around me. I wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world but I was hoping I was good enough. I wasn't the most funniest person around but I could bring a smile on your face. I had a broken heart, it was fragile but it was willing to love you. I was willing to wait months to see you and feel your love. I was willing to see the millions of girls try to get at you knowing your heart was all mine. I was willing to sleep alone at nights while you were out some where in the world. i was willing to love you. But I knew I couldn't. I was hoping that when you finished reading this letter you would understand a little bit of how I felt. I was hoping that you would move on and be happy. Because that's all I ever wanted for you to be...happy. I just wanted to see that smile of yours and that cute dimple that came with it. You trusted me with your secrets, Harry and I never told a soul. I kept it because I knew it was mean't for only us two and that it would make you happy. Then there was a day it was the happiest day ever. You actually kissed me. Right smack on the lips. It was a long kiss too. You held me tight. I never wanted that moment to end. Well we ended up you know getting into that kiss. I guess i can say kisses. Well you know what happened...and I told you that I had to leave. You gave me one more kiss and I left. Harry I was on cloud 9. I took a short cut. Yes I took my chances it was a dangerous path but I took it. I was almost home when a man came up to me. He covered my mouth up so I couldn't scream...I don't wanna give you any more details but that man...he raped me. Harry I was so scared. I didn't know what to do...I was left there in the middle of the alley. I got up and walked home. My mom wasn't home yet. I cried in the shower. I was scared...but I didn't want to worry anyone. I felt so lonely....I cried myself to sleep for a week. I finally had the nerve to go get a check-up. And well I was diagnosed with AIDS. Yeah, it hurt. It was a severe case of it. It had spread...Harry I had less than one year to live. I wrote this now, almost a year after I found out, because I know i'm not gonna have the strength to write later on and I know you'll be fine without me. Don't worry I wrote my mom a letter too. Of course not as long as yours...I had to tell you how I felt. Well ummm these past few days haven't been the best. I'm so weak I can barely write this...I keep thinking back on all our memories. I keep thinking about you. And when I see you, you make me feel alive I don't feel weak. But you're kinda busy this week cause you're gonna start your big tour. I wish you, Liam, Zayne, Niall, and Louis the best of luck! I know you guys are gonna be really big. I hope I made you happy even for a second. Maybe you'll understand my love for you. You really helped make the best of my last days in this cruel world. Harry I was cheated on...life cheated and turned on me. All I wanted was to make this boy happy. And all I got back was...well life was good. I loved everyday spent with you...everyday even if I just saw you for a minute or two...then God just decided it was time for me to go. I loved life i'm not gonna lie. You made everything worth it. Thanks Harry...You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Hopefully you make these last days worth while too. I Love you. Be happy and be the best Star you can be to your fans. Do it for me. I can't stop saying how much you mean to me. I love you sooo much. Well this time for sure Bye. Be happy and smile.
Sincerely,
Monica Wonder<3
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This Is For You (One Direction Love Story)
FanficHarry Styles is having a hard time coping with life. One day he receives a shoebox full of letters that bring the truth out, the truth that could of changed his life. But now it's too late. Too late to go back, too late to tell her how he really fel...
