This Is For You (One Direction Love Story)

Chapter 8

I was ready for it. We got throuugh the girls and a few lucky fans were gonna watch us rehearse. I take a seat and smile down at them. They start chanting my name. I gotta love them. We start rehearsing. Then a fan requests a song. She wants us to sing "Chasing Cars" by  Snow Patrol. All these songs we performed on the X Factor mean't alot more than just songs. I would sing them to Monica. I would ask her for some advice on my singing and I would sing for her, but really I mean't  what I sang. I wanted her to be by my side. But I never had the nerve to do it. I regret not telling her so.

"Hey Monica, I need help with my vocals. Can you help me?" I ask her.

She smiles, "Of course." I can see how her eyes lit up when she replied.

We go sit out on the grass and I look into her eyes, "Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads. If I lay here, If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told before we get too old. Show me your garden that's bursting into life. Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads."  Her eyes are watery. I scoot closer to her."How was that?" I ask her.

She looks down, "It was wonderful, you'll do great Harry." Then she gets up and starts walking away. I was sure she wiped her eyes. "See you  later," and she runs off inside. 

 Harry I loved when you sang to me. I always knew you mean't it...well I thought you mean't it when you sang, but you never actually said you mean't to sing it to me. You should of said something. I can't believe you mean't everything you sang to me.

Liam looks at us, we nod that we're ready. He starts off. I don't know if I can do this. I look up to the sky and think of Monica. Hey beautiful this one's for you. I start singing. The girls scream. But this one's only for her. The song brings back all the memories. I start tearing up. I look at Louis he smiles at me. His face has a "It's okay Harry, you'll be fine" look. I smile. Yeah, I'll be fine. The song's over and the audience applauds. I try smiling. I wipe the tears and say thanks to the girls. Then it's time for the real show. We sing: What Makes You Beautiful, One Thing, and Up All Night. I'm glad we didn't sing Moments. That song brings me to tears. We thanks the audience and leave off stage. 

Awww thank you Harry. I wish I could go down there and thank you myself. Don't cry It hurts me to see you upset and I can't do anything about it. I'll do my best to cheer you up. Lovely performance by the way.

"Harry You did great out there," Liam smiles at me.

"Thanks, you guys did great too," I reply trying to smile.  The guys pat me on the back. We go back to the bus. We're gonna go get something to grub on. I'm not really hungry but I need to eat to get all my energy. 

I finish eating and I go sit down and read more letters. Letters about her day. Others of when I sang to her. She would cry when I sang to her because she wished I mean't it. And I did. I just didn't ever tell her. I was afraid she didn't feel the same way I felt about her. I start tearing up. I clench my fist. I can't believe I was so stupid. I never told her my true feelings before. I felt my stomach tighten up. I can't believe it. I cover my face as tears stream down my face. I put the letter down not wanting to ruin it. I missed her too much. I had started to show her my affection when it was too late. I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and hug her. I wish she could have known how I felt.

I calm down. No one was in the bus because they went to eat out and I decided to stay in. I told them I needed some alone time. I grab the next letter and try to read it. 

December 09, 2010

Tomorrow's the grand finale. And today Harry asked me if I could help him with his vocals. Of course I said yes. He was singing "Your Song" I loved that song. Man he started singing and I couldn't help it. When he sang "How wonderful life is now you're in the world."  I bit my lip trying to keep calm. By the end of the song I was in so much pain. I loved it, yes of course I loved it. But I know he doesn't really mean it. He was just doing what he loved. He loved singing. He finished singing and I complemented his voice. I left calmly but  when I got home I went to bed and started bawling my eyes out into my pillow. So I'm actually writing this with big-o frog eyes. I hope I don't look bad tomorrow. I didn't want to cry but it hurts me that  Harry doesn't  know how I feel for him. Well hopefully they win the Finals tomorrow. God is on their side. Well I should rest. Goodnight world. 

xoxox Monica Wonder 

Monica, Monica, Monica. If you had only known that I meant every single song I sang to you. I mean't every single stinken word that came out of my mouth. I mean't it with all my heart. How could I not see that she felt the same way I felt for her. How did I not tell her the truth

. I read a few more letters. Past the X-Factor onto when we got more famous. I read non-stop until it started getting darker. The guys came in and took a seat. They just smiled at me and kept their distance. I read a letter of when I started talking to her more. When I asked her out almost a year ago. How she liked making me happy and how happy I made her. I put my letters away tears streamed down my cheeks. I didn't want to think about it. So i'll just take a quick snooze.

Sleep my love. I know how you feel now, but nothing can change now. So rest  and everything will be just fine. I know for a fact that you will be happy again. I have asked God to put someone in your way that will make you happy. Even if it's not me I don't mind as long as you're happy. I love you so much Harry. Take a good nap, babe, I'll talk to you during the night when you're  all nice and cozy.