45.Becoming a new

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"Nora!" I hear voices.
"Save me!" I hear voices.
"Kill me!" I hear voices.
"Kill yourself!" Are they memories?
"You are nothing!" I hear voices.
Am I crazy?
"Nora!!! Nora." Can anyone save me? I think I'm to far gone?
I feel hands pull me up.
"Shit." Someone says.
I can't see. I can't breathe. I hear voices.
I feel lips touch mine.
Am I dead?
"She isn't breathing!" Another voice yells.
My eyes open. I cough up water.
"God damn you!" West yells.
He pulls me in a hug.
"They wanted me to kill myself." I whisper.
"Stop!" Scott yells.
"I can't. I can't quite. I only wanted you guys to be happy. Me being gone.....you wouldn't have to go to war. No one would die." I say.
The others stare a me like I'm stupid.
"So you dried drowning yourself!? That's not a solution! What would Ash say?" Triston freaks.
"He'd tell me he loves me. But he's dead so stop putting it all to Ash." I get up and run to "my" room.

I'm so stupid!
"I love you."
Those 3 words.
Ash and his smiles. Ash and his orders.
Ash and his stubbornness. Ash and how he never gives up. Ash kissing me in the pool. Ash. Ash. Ash. Ash driving me to the hospital. Ash keeping me safe.
Ash and him.
Ash.
Ash.
Ash.
His steady heart beat.
His hair.
His smell.
His looks.
His freckles.
I smile.

Water drips off of me.
My lips are blue.
I'm pale.
I'm ugly.
I'm crazy.
I need to let Ash go.
The memories, I put them in a box and image them being sunk into the ocean, like Rose when she tells Jack she will never let him go but let's him go- in the Titanic.
It's time to be new. It's time to fight. It's time to be strong like my father.

  I hear the door open.
"When are we leaving?" I ask.
"Where?" Callie ask.
  "I wanna look for my friends. I want to save them. When are we leaving?" I ask.
  "Ummm...." She stares.
"I'll ask Trey then if I can't get a damn answer out of your pretty ass."
  She stares.
"I'll ask Trey." She says quickly and runs down to Trey.
   Hannah runs back up and hugs me.
  "We can leave in an hour." She says.
  "Good." I smile. "I can't be weak anymore. I'm done. I do t want pity."
  "That's fine." She says as we walk down the stairs.
  "I'm sorry" I announce to everyone.
  some nod.
"Hannah.....thank you." I hug her and walk away. She was left confused but happy.
   I see Henry.
"Damn. Scott, your brother isn't bad when he's cleaned. He is gonna be a ladies man." I smile. He giggles.

Henry when he is cleaned up👇

Henry when he is cleaned up👇

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" I wanna help. Please." Henry ask.
  "I'm sorry but I think someone needs to stay back here with you." I say.
  He groans.
Our new squad.....
Relando,Jason, Triston, Asia, Scott, Hannah, Cayden, Brayden, weird piercing dude, Trey's peeps, Paisley, Me, Allie, Peter, and West.
It's not many but if we can find our family, we can fight.
  We are strong as a whole.
I'm not sure how many people Trey has but....It might make a difference.
   I look around and smile.
"Triston, promise me you will never change. Promise that when we make it out, when we win.....we will still be friends. Your cool." I look at Triston.
  "Deal. I want off the records."
Idea!
  "Guys!!!! Idea!" I say.
"You guys have records! If we turn these people in!....we might be able to get y'all off the hook!" I say.
"Yessss!!!!" People celebrate, not Trey, not Scott. Not many people.
  I remember West being shot.
"West. How's your leg?" I ask.
"He didn't shoot me. Had to make him think he did. He hit the ground way off." We laugh.
  "How are we afraid of him?" I ask.
No answer.
We laugh some more.

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