Blank Skies

1

Rebecca

I wipe my cheeks.

Just breathe Becca.

In and out.

I sniffle and look at his features. God why are you making me do this? Maybe a picture would last longer? No that would just be creepy.

I lean my head against the door frame and study the messy bed. The thin sheet covers him from the waist down. His muscles are prominent as he wraps his arms around his pillow adjusting his head. His hair needed to be styled when he woke up thanks to me. His sweet caramel skin invites me to crawl back in bed with him.

I sigh softly wiping my cheek with my fingers. I bend over picking up my duffle bag and close the door quietly. I look over the small apartment and check for anything I may have missed when I was packing. My eyes glance at the envelope sitting on the kitchen counter.

I hope he understands.

I walk to the door and open it grabbing my jacket off the hook hanging on the back of the door. I lock the door behind me and hurry down the outdoor steps that led to the upstair apartments.

I open the passenger door and set the bag in the seat. I walk around to the other side and climb in the driver's seat. I turn the key and the engine ignites, I look behind me and see my things in the backseat. The feeling of wanting to vomit stirs up inside my stomach and I suppress it as I drive away from him.

Him.

I can't believe that I'm doing this right now.

The drive is quiet in the black night surrounding me. There are more cars out on the interstate than I would've thought.

It's barely one in the morning and I feel as if I'm dying.

****

I pull into the long driveway about four hours later and the sun is still hiding out. The usual cars are in the driveway so I park behind them. I recognize my brother's car and even my sister's car, mom and dad must have invited them over too.

Great, just don't forget to breathe Becca.

I turn my the key and take it out resting it on my lap, "Lets just focus on getting inside and finding a bed." I say as I get out of the car. There's a path to the front of the house made out of big stones. The house itself is extravagant for absolutely no reason. My parents want to prove how much better they are to their friends who are just as bad.

The house is painted white with black shutters and railings. The windows are big and are kept well cleaned and sparkly. The house itself is three stories each floor filled with expensive furniture, well except for my old room. I knock on the big hardwood door, hopefully someone remembered that I was coming. I hear a click and the door opens revealing my sister in a silk robe. Her face breaks out in a smile as she pulls me into her.

I wrap my arms around her, her lavender scent captivates me. Her strawberry blonde hair tickles my face as she squeezes me. She pulls away and I'm greeted with her soft green eyes, "I missed you." I smile, "I missed you too Kaitlyn." She looks at me head to toe, "Where's your things?" I gesture towards the car, "Well let's go get your things." She says closing the door behind her and loops her arm with mine dragging me down the steps.

I unlock my car and get my bag out of the passenger seat, "I'll just take this in tonight, it's got all my important stuff in it." Kaitlyn leans up against my car as I close the door, "What's going on Bec?" I shake my head, "Nothing, why?" She sighs, "Your eyes are blood shot and your face is puffy." I lean back into the car and drop my bag, "I just left him while he was sleeping and all I left was a stupid little letter." I look up to the night sky, "Almost two years with him and that's how I leave him."

By now I was full sobbing, my hands are shaky and so is my breathing. Kaitlyn doesn't say a word, "I hate them." I sniffle and look at her, "What?" I wipe my cheeks for the eight hundredth time tonight, "The way they treat us and the way they treat you is awful Rebecca." Her voice cracks a little, "I can't stand how they just push you around with their stupid pitchforks." I look at the house, "They gave me two years." My attention goes back to Kaitlyn, "Times up."

I pick up my bag, "Just don't tell anybody okay." She nods, "You deserve him and not this family." I give her a soft smile, "Lets just focus on making them happy for today." Kaitlyn twist the engagement ring on her finger, "Yeah." We walk side by side back up to the house and make our way inside. The house is dimly lit as we go up the steps, "Try to get some sleep Bec." Kaitlyn looks at me with sad eyes.

In seconds she disappears behind a door and I'm stuck standing in front of mine. I twist the knob and open the door revealing my old room. The queen sized bed sat in a all wood bed frame covered in my comforter. I flip on the lights and close the door.

Nothing's changed.

My desk sits beside my bed with all my old sheet music stacked in different piles based on some category. My violin sat on top of my vantiy enclosed in it's own case. My volleyball trophies and medals cover the shelves and the walls. The walls are still the same light purple that they've always been since I could remember. I drop my bag in the floor and slide off my shoes. I pull back my sheets feeling the familiar fabric between my fingers.

I move some papers on the desk and set my keys and my phone down. I flip off the light and climb in the comfy bed, the coldness of the sheets makes the lonely feeling tear through my stomach.

I turn on my side bring the blanket up to my face. I hate myself. Why do I feel the need to make my parents so happy?

What about my happiness? Isn't that a thing or is it unnecessary?

It doesn't exist.

All I can do is put on a smile and fake it all.

Welcome to the story of Rebecca Peterson.

It's hell.