Blank Skies

4

Rebecca

I sigh as I climb out of the car following everyone out. We just got back from a formal party where my parents paraded me around.

"Doesn't she look just stunning!"

"You know some people don't believe her age, they think she's younger."

"My daughter speaks fluently through her violin and piano."

Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

We just got home and they stuck me in the back by myself. I follow everyone into the house trailing in my heels. I don't miss having to wear these things every where. I detour from the group and walk over to the steps, "Where do you think you're going?" My mother's voice makes me stop in my tracks, "We have guests coming over, get in here." I sigh and turn around putting on a fake smile, "I'm sorry mother."

I walk past her and go into the living room and sit down on the piano bench. Kaitlyn gives me a confused look, "You don't look so hot Becca." I shake my head, "I feel fine." I wasn't fine. I haven't eaten in almost eight hours. My mom has always made me eat the bare minimum at parties so I would stay 'fresh'.

I do feel a little dizzy and clammy. The longer I sit the more nausea sits in, "Becca let's get you something to eat." Jack comes over lightly grabbing my arm to lift me up, "God you are covered in sweat." Jack lifts me up and I collapse in his arms.

**

I wake up laying in my bed with a cold rag on my forehead. I turn my head and see Kaitlyn face squished up against the pillow. There's a pounding in my head. I look around the room and see Jack sitting in my comfy chair covered in a blanket.

God I love them.

I cough not being able to hold it in any longer and they both wake up, "Hey, how you feeling?" Kaitlyn asks as Jack opens a bottle of water shoving it in my face to drink. I sit up and take the bottle slowly sipping it, "Like shit." My voice is about half there, "You need to actually eat something Becks." Jack says taking the bottle from me and I shrug, "No I need to loose some of this weight, mom knows what she's doing."

Kaitlyn flicks me in the arm, "Ow." I rub the spot, "You aren't overweight Rebecca and you don't need to loose any of the weight you have." She points her finger in my face, "Losing weight is not an option." I fall back into my pillow and cover up with my blankets, "I'm a big girl." I say and Jack smacks my leg, "Stop hurting me!" I say, "Stop body shaming yourself!" I roll my eyes, "No I just had a certain way I looked and mom created it and then I fucked it up."

They both hit me.

"Seriously stop with all the hitting!" I say throwing my arms up and letting them fall back down, "Don't listen to mom, okay you leave her to us." All I can do is nod, "Now about that party." Jack says leaning back into the chair, "Mom tried to set me up." My voice squeaks, "Oh." Kaitlyn says frowning, "God it was awful all he did was talk about himself." I roll my eyes, "He told me my best quality was my fat ass." My voice continues to crack the longer I talk.

Jack and Kaitlyn attempt to hide their laughs, "It's not funny." My words are breathy and nothing else, "Did you just loose your voice?" Jack laughs and I glare at him, "Oh man." He continues to chuckle.

I sit up and get out of bed throwing the rag at him and heading to my bathroom. I take a quick shower and get dressed before going downstairs. When I get to the kitchen my dad is consoling my mom while Jack and Kaitlyn sit at the bar eating donuts. I walk in and grab one out of the box, "She's helpless!" My mom shouts and my dad pulls her into him, "Now calm down Georgia." He shoots a glare at me as I bite into the sugary gift sent from the heavens above.

I'm screwed.

I chew it and throw the rest away making sure she sees me do it. I make my way up to my room and grab my phone and my ear buds. I plug them as I walk back down. I walk past the kitchen and into a room off to the right. I close the door behind me and sit down on the piano bench.

This one is mine.

I put in my ear buds and pick a random song and place the phone on the stool beside me. I lay my fingers on the right keys and wait for the music to start. The soft hum makes me close my eyes and my fingers float across the keys.

This is my space.

The tempo picks up and I never miss a beat even when my mother walks in. She stands at the door with her hand resting on the knob. Our eyes burn into each other's as I continue to play. Her posture signifies that this is a duty.

Playing my piano.

The.

Fucking.

Piano.

She sips her tea and never let's her eyes waver from my face.

I sit down at the piano, careful not to wrinkle my dress. I place my hands on the keys and pause for a moment. All of them are staring at me, waiting for something spectacular. I release the breath I've been holding in and begin to move my fingers.

Whispers.

They're whispering about me. I'm playing the piece correctly. Why are they whispering about me?

Calm down.

Breathe.

The song isn't long and I finish sitting my hands in my lap. No one says a thing and I can't feel my mother's eyes tearing apart my soul. Evil. Pure evil. I stand up and give their friends a soft smile before walking into the den.

All the kids look up at me, "We heard you playing." I nod and sit down, "You're really good." I smile and fidget with my fingers.

At eight years old I shouldn't be worrying about this. Perfect piano playing takes years of dedication. I should be worrying about what color to paint my nails or if I should eat a piece of pizza or a big bowl of ice cream. Not preparing pieces to perform in front of my parents and their friends.

Why didn't they ever make Jack and Kaitlyn do this stuff?

I bet they hate me.

I'm careful not to mess up my hair and wrinkle my dress.

My mom backs out of the room and slams the door. She's mad. Maybe disappointed. Or both who the hell knows.

The song changes and a soft familiar melody floats through the ear buds. I take my hands off the keys and the fall to my lap. This is Andre's favorite song, gosh I need to suck it up.