1.07 Obliviousness

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[The scene opens on Periscope and Pipette in Periscope and Dice's kitchen, as seen in installment 1.05.]

Periscope: I don't think I want to.

Pipette: Oh come one, trust me, everything will be great!

Periscope: I really don't want to, Pipe, and I don't think I can anyways. I'm too anxious of a person to do that. I don't even think Aglet likes me very much as a friend. I think I'm just not gonna do it.

Pipette: Oh, come on. Don't be stupid.

Periscope: It's too late. I am stupid. It can't be helped. But actually, I think me deciding not to is the smart decision. I don't want my life to be about that.

Pipette: You don't have anything better to do.

Periscope: Maybe you're right, but romance isn't just a thing to do. I'm not you and Dice.

Pipette: What do you mean?

Periscope: Oh, is that not a thing? I thought that was a thing. I thought "stealing something" was just code that you two were going to go make out or something like that.

Pipette: What? No! I don't even- Why would you even assume that?

Periscope: I don't know, it would be kind of cute if you were, and if you are, I don't really care or anything.

Pipette, clearly flustered: That's so ridiculous. I can't believe you would even say something like that, Peri.

[The door opens.]

Dice: Hey Peri, I'm home.

[Dice walks into the kitchen.]

Dice: Oh, hey Pipe. Did you bring in our mail?

Pipette: Uh, no, I got here before the mail came.

Dice: I don't feel like walking to get it, so just check our box when you leave and bring it back whenever, ok?

Pipette: That makes absolutely no sense, but sure.

Dice: Anyways, to business.

Periscope: What business? We don't do anything.

Dice, pointing at Periscope: You, my friend, have to avoid Aglet for a little bit.

Pipette: Hang on, that's irrational, we were just planning something about Aglet.

Periscope: Shut up, don't tell Dice what you were planning! And don't tell them that I'm involved! I want nothing to do with that!

Pipette: That's just because you won't listen to what I'm saying!

Dice: Hey, I'd really like to explain what I mean, if that's cool with everyone.

Pipette: Why do I have to avoid Aglet? I thought we liked Aglet.

Dice: Do you remember when they came in with the census people?

Pipette: Yeah, so?

Dice: Did you ever think about why they didn't leave with the census people?

Pipette: No... But I still don't understand what you mean.

[Dice pulls up a stool, sits in it, and grabs one of the cookies.]

Dice, before taking a bite of the cookie: Aglet wasn't allowed to leave with the census people on the case of the mysterious figure known as Meredith Simmons.

[Everyone is visibly uncomfortable for a silent moment.]

Dice: I know. I just found out. So, just for a few days, Aglet can't think about the census. So, Aglet can't see me, because we just talked about it, and Peri is involved, so Peri, you can't see them for a bit either. Just to allow for some kind of cool-off.

Pipette: Well that sucks.

Dice: Wait, why? Explain that plan you had to me.

Periscope: I really think that's not necessary.

Pipette: Well, I had just thought that since Peri has such a huge crush on Aglet, that they should ask them out, you know?

Dice: YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON AGLET?

Pipette: D, are you actually blind?

Periscope: Oh, well at least the other part is starting to make sense.

Pipette: What other part?

Periscope, musing: Oh, no other part. Don't worry about it.

Dice: How come I wasn't the first person to know about this?

Pipette: Because since you abandoned me for Aglet, Periscope and I are now best friends.

Dice: What?! I go to the edge with Aglet for one day, and I come back to this?

Pipette: See, but my goal, then, here, is to get Peri to go to the edge with Aglet instead.

Periscope: Buttered biscuits, why are you like this?

Dice: I don't get it...

Periscope: You're going to corrupt Dice's mind, Pipe. Is this why you-

Pipette: Shut up! Periscope! Let it go! We're focusing on you right now!

Periscope: I don't like this. I don't like being stuck in this conversation loop with no way out.

Dice: I'm still really confused...

Periscope: Ok, you know what? New system.

[The three are still in the kitchen.]

Periscope: Alright. So, you can only talk if you have the stick, and you can't take the stick by force. I thought of the stick, so I get to talk first.

There's a silence because Periscope is the one with the stick.

Periscope: Great. So, yeah, sure, I maybe like Aglet a little bit, but I'd really rather not have a romantic relationship any time in the near future.

[Pipette raises their hand. Periscope passes Pipette the stick.]

Pipette: What about other types of relationships?

[Periscope and Dice both raise their hands.]

Pipette: No, you gave me the stick. It's time for both of you to listen silently to my monologue. You chose this.

[credits]

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