Work In Progress

1.17 A Bad Comparison

[Dice and Aglet are sitting in Aglet's kitchen. Dice has a cup of coffee.]

Aglet: So, when's Peri getting back?

Dice: I don't know.

[Neither of them have other conversation topics, because Dice never knew about Aglet and Moe dating, and Aglet is uncomfortable talking about Dice's recent interactions with the Fixer.]

Aglet: Is there anything you want to do?

Dice: Do you have anything to bake with?

Aglet: Probably.

[There's a knock on the door, because that is the only way that this story ever progresses.]

Aglet: I'll get it.

[Aglet walks out of frame to get the door, and returns with Moe. Moe does not walk all the way into frame as Aglet sits back down in their chair.]

Moe: Oh.

Dice: Yeah, "oh."

Moe: What are you doing here?

Dice: I'm... kind of under a house arrest that Peri imposed.

Moe, sitting in a chair next to Aglet: But this isn't your house.

Dice: Well, Peri is having surgery right now.

[Moe sighs, because he honestly doesn't care about Periscope. What a vibe killer.]

Aglet: Do you even know what the surgery is for?

Dice: I have a pretty good guess, but it's not my place to talk about it or anything.

Aglet: I had surgery once.

Dice: Oh yeah?

Aglet: Yeah, when I joined the census. They took out my chip because there's no radio signal anyways.

[Dice doesn't have a response to that.]

Moe: Why were you chipped?

Aglet: Oh, everyone from where I'm from gets chipped.

Moe, slightly joking and slightly aggressive: What, are you from the commonwealth region?

Aglet: Yeah. Port Sixty-Four, I told you that already.

Moe: Yeah, but I wasn't thinking of you as-

Aglet: As commonwealth?

Moe: Well, yeah. No offense, but you seem about as commonwealth as a-

[Moe doesn't want to finish the metaphor.]

Aglet: As a what?

Moe: As nothing, I don't know, forget about it.

Aglet: No, it doesn't matter, I knew what you were going to say.

Moe: It's not anything bad to be commonwealth, it's just seems like that glossy kind of pretentious that no one likes.

Aglet: Oh, so no one likes me? Because I'm commonwealth?

Moe: That's not what I'm saying either.

Aglet: Right, of course not, because you were going to say that I seem about as commonwealth as a dead patch of daisies, or however that saying you west-raised made up goes. Because I'm clearly not like other people in the commonwealth, right, just because I'm not begging for things to fill up my head and help me forget that I've never had money and that I never will? Is that why I don't seem commonwealth to you?

[Moe struggles to think of an answer and fails.]

Aglet: I think I want you to not be here anymore.

Moe: I didn't even mean anything by it.

Aglet: Can we take this outside for a minute?

Moe: Please.

Aglet: Dice, are you ok on your own?

Dice, who has mostly just been sitting there startled during the whole exchange: Yeah, sure, I'll... look for things to bake, I guess.

Aglet: That's good, you do that, we'll be back.

[Aglet and Moe get out of their seats and walk out of frame. The door is heard opening and closing. After a moment, Dice gets up to look through the cupboards. The camera cuts to outside of the house, where Aglet and Moe are walking a few feet away from the door, and then stop.]

Moe: Is this seriously what's going to set everything off?

Aglet: Maybe.

Moe: I can't believe you.

Aglet: You know what, you're pretty unbelievable yourself, there, you absolute plum.

Moe: What? Why am I the plum here?

Aglet: Because I told you I was from Port Sixty-Four! You knew I did the census and you never put two and two together that of course I'm commonwealth!

[Aglet takes a breath.]

Aglet: You even saw where the scar was and you didn't even think to ask.

Moe: Well, do you want to talk about scars? Because trust me, I think some of mine can beat yours.

Aglet: This isn't even a competition. You're just being bigoted.

[The camera cuts to Pipette and Moe's living room. Pipette is reading a newspaper. It's not the same newspaper as the last newspaper. The door is heard opening and closing. Moe walks in with the mail.]

Pipette, absentmindedly: How was your date with the tightwad?

Moe: Dice was there.

Pipette, no longer absentmindedly: Dice was there?

Moe: Periscope went to have their surgery, so Dice went over to stay with Aglet, I guess.

Pipette: Why wouldn't Dice come here?

Moe: Why would they? You're kind of a wreck, and a bad person, on top of that.

[Pipette doesn't even respond.]

Moe: ... We broke up.

Pipette: Oh yeah? Why?

Moe: Because apparently I'm classist.

Pipette: That's perfectly fair. Did you knock the commonwealth?

Moe: Maybe.

Pipette: Bad idea.

Moe: So it seems.

Pipette: Not that I like Aglet in any way at all.

Moe: I don't want to talk about it, really.

Pipette: You weren't even together that long.

[Beat.]

Moe: Yeah, so it's not even worth talking about.

Pipette: ... Fine.

[credits]