1.23 "Property" Disputes

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[Periscope is sitting in their kitchen. There's a knock on the door. Periscope quickly taps their nose while simultaneously getting up very slowly to answer the door. That's juxtaposition for you. Periscope walks out of the room to where the door is. The door is heard opening.]

Periscope: Hello?

Unknown Voice: Where is it?

Periscope: Where is what?

Unknown Voice: My property, you stick.

[Periscope and the owner of the Unknown Voice walk into the frame of the kitchen. Periscope enters walking backwards.]

Periscope, audibly frightened: I don't know what property you mean.

Unknown Voice: You know exactly what I mean.

Periscope, audibly frightened: I honestly don't know.

Unknown Voice: Who else is here?

Periscope, still frightened, but now understanding: I'm the only one who lives here.

Unknown Voice, walking out of frame: Like shell you are.

[It occurs to you that Periscope and Dice's house has a living room, which Periscope and the owner of the unknown voice are walking into.]

Unknown Voice: You could make this a lot easier for yourself if you just told me where they went.

Periscope, lying: I don't understand what you mean.

Unknown Voice: I've seen them come in here before.

Periscope: Seen who?

Unknown Voice: Drop the act. I know Dice lives here. I know you're supposed to cover for them-

Periscope: I really don't know what you want from me.

Unknown Voice: -And I know you know who I am. And I'm guessing you can figure out what will happen if I don't find what I'm looking for.

[There is a long silence that features uncomfortable and intense eye contact.]

Periscope: I don't know where Dice is. I haven't seen them in weeks.

[The scene cut to Aglet's kitchen. There's an urgent knock on the door. Aglet gets up to answer it, walking out of the camera frame. The door is heard opening.]

Periscope, out of frame: Bad news.

Aglet, out of frame: Bad news?

Periscope, out of frame: The Fixer is in my house.

Aglet, out of frame: ... Are you serious?

Periscope, out of frame: Don't I look serious?

[The door is heard closing.]

Aglet, walking into frame: So where's Dice?

Periscope: I don't know, I just know they left.

Aglet: What's the Fixer doing there?

Periscope: Looking for them.

Aglet: And what are you doing here?

Periscope: Running away before they can hurt me.

Aglet: Did they see you?

Periscope: They were checking Dice's bedroom. I didn't bother closing the door, so I didn't make any sound. So, they know I bolted, but they don't know where to.

Aglet: ... Butterscotch.

Periscope: I know.

Aglet: Do you think they went to Pipe's?

Periscope: Maybe. I can't be sure. But we can't go now. I'm not sure how much running I can do.

Aglet: ... You know, there's a better way to deal with this.

[Aglet leaves the frame to another room.]

Periscope: What?

Aglet, out of frame: Paperwork.

[The camera cuts to Pipette and Dice at the Edge.]

Dice: What do you mean?

Pipette: Keep in mind, before I start, that there's no way I can say this without looking bad.

Dice: That's how you say everything.

Pipette: Yeah. You're right, but... this is different.

Dice: Different how?

Pipette: I got something in the mail recently. Something from the people who assigned Moe to my house. It...

[Beat.]

Pipette: More people are being assigned here. Soon.

Dice: People from where?

Pipette: ... People from our regimen.

Dice: What? Why? How do you know?

Pipette: Because the letter said no one would be assigned to my house because we have three residents.

Dice: But you don't have three residents.

Pipette: ... Moe and I got Tab to sign off on the return mail.

Dice: ... Buttered biscuits, Pipette.

Pipette: Yeah, I- ... It is what it is.

[There's a moment of silence.]

Dice: What do you think the people in our regimen are coming back for? Do you think it's over?

Pipette: Yeah, but... that's seriously not even important, all things considering.

Dice: What do you mean?

Pipette: Well, I took your mail, right?

Dice: Yeah.

Pipette: You're getting a roommate.

Dice: Oh.

Pipette: But that's not it, you- ... The letter, it...

Pipette pauses.

Pipette: It came with the name.

[The camera cuts to Aglet's kitchen. Periscope appears to be sitting alone.]

Aglet, out of frame: Thanks Clarence!

[The door is heard closing.]

Periscope, as Aglet walks back into frame: Are you sure that's going to work?

Aglet: Of course it will. I'm a respected member of the commonwealth. You want a cup of coffee?

Periscope: ... I don't see why not.

[credits.]

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