Ranpo- *runs out of restrooms* he fucking escaped!
Yosano- Dafuq?!
Kunikida- *sighs* let's go get that Bandage Bitch.
Tanizaki- i have the perfect car! *takes out a white pedophile van*
Kenji- let's get him.
Kunikida- *drives the van out of the window*
Naomi- *slow motion* HOOOOLLLYYY SSHHSHHIIIIIIIIT!
Ranpo- why are you yelling like that?
Naomi- IIIII DOOOONN'T KKNNNOOOWW.
Van-kun- *lands on a cat*
Kunikida- fuck, we got a pussy on da wheel.
Yosano- fuck the cat, get Dazai he's right there! *points at Dazai who was running down the street*
Tanizaki- *grabs net* I'll capture him while your driving.
Kunikida- good plan. *drives fast*
Van-kun- *runs people over and explodes cars*
Kenji- this van is fucking INVINCIBLE!!!!
Ranpo- what do you expect? It's a fucking pedophile van for fuck sakes!
Tanizaki- I got you hoe! *snatches Dazai in the net*
Dazai- shit!...
Dazai- is the Agency this fucking cool?
Kunikida- *sees a burned up diary on the road* Oh my god! *steps on the break*
Yosano- *who didn't had her seatbelt on, flew out of the window* what the hell Kunikida?!
Kuni- my diary, it's burned up! Who did this?!
Yosano- uh...*thinks back when burning the diary with Dazai and Atsushi*
Dazai- *magically jumps out of net* see ya!
Tanzaki- the whore is getting away!
Ranpo- not for long. *starts car and drives into a store*
Naomi- dafuq was that?
Ranpo- you think i can drive?!
Kyouka- let me take the wheel. *starts driving like Fast and the Furious*
Yosano- hey, wait for me! *gets left behind*
Dazai- *running like an idiot*
Tanizaki- *catches him with the net* I got you now bitch!!
At the Agency, again~
Dazai- *tied up in the chair again*
Ranpo- we got him at last.
Tanizaki- and, just in time.
Atsushi- *walks into the agency* hey fellow co-workers!
Dazai- ATSUSHI!♡ *Jumps onto Atsushi* I miss you!
Naomi- where did you and emo boi go?
Atsushi- we went to a cafe with Chuuya!
Dazai- what relationship do you have with that hoodrat?
Atsushi- I told you by text, he's my best friend.
Dazai- hehe, plez tell me you're joking right?
Atsushi- why would I be joking around about this?
Ranpo- AWW PICKLES!
Dazai- I thought...
Ranpo- well you thought wrong thot.
~Meanwhile
Yosano- are we going back to the agency or not?
Kunikida- don't interrupt me while I'm praying! *prays at a tombstone that had 'kuni's diary' on it*
YOU ARE READING
BSD ON CRACK
FanfictionOnce the world was a rotten hell, but now heros from the shad- Dazai- can we just cut to the scene where I find the perfect bitch to commit suicide with? Atsushi- you interrupted the intro! *sighs* Akiko- well Dazai does ruin shit every time *claps...
