BSD ON CRACK

This is a total misunderstanding, honey. You just haven't thought about it.

Kunikida- *checks watch* they're both late

Akiko- slow your rolls kuni, they're just dumb kids that think that their jobs don't matter.

Tanizaki- okay maybe Dazai maybe, but I don't think Atsushi would do that.

Kyouka- maybe if you call Dazai, might know where Atsushi is.

Kunikida- good thinking, one smelly sticker for you again. *places a smelly sticker onto Kyouka's forehead* now to call Dazai *dials phone number*

Dazai- *grunts* uh hello?

Kunikida- WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU BITCH AND WHERE'S THE BRAT, YOU TWO ARE SUPER FUCKING LATE, I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR FUCKING ASS UP IF YOU DO-

Atsushi- Dazai not so hard!

Dazai- sorry~

Kunikida- uh am I hearing things?

Dazai- *grunting* what no.

Atsushi- Dazai I told you not so hard, your going to break me!

Dazai- I'm sorry!

Kunikida- hello?

Dazai- sorry, I can't talk right now, i'm a bit tied up right now so try calling a bit later.

Kunikida- Dazai u better come to the agency fast, there's an important business here and-

Atsushi- DAZAI! I'm gonna... ah!

Dazai- uh, sorry but Atsushi just made a big mess here so ill call you later bye~ Atsushi, i'm coming~!

Kunikida- *puts down phone* ...

Yosano- uh shit face? You there?

Ranpo- kuni you shouldn't have called at such a busy time.

Tanizaki- what did Dazai say?

Kunikida- I'm uh going to rest for a while. *lays on the couch like a hobo*

Kyouka- *puts stickers on kuni's face* there, there.

~

Dazai-we're back~!

Atsushi- *with new clothes* hey guys.

Tanizaki- what's with the new outfit?

Atsushi- *blushes* nothing important, just that my other clothes is in the washing machine.

Dazai- *smirking like the dumbass he is* Atsushi went very wild with me a couple of hours ago. You should've seen it, I even got it on tape!

Atsushi- *blushes deeper* you didn't!

Dazai- I did!

Kyouka- i wanna see

Atsushi- n-no you don't.

Yosano- why not?

Atsushi- it's just I don't want you guys to see.

Dazai- ish okay~ where's Kuni?

Ranpo- over there. *points at couch-chan*

Kunikida- *writing in Ideal* they probably didn't even use a condom or something...

Atsushi- what was that?

Kuni- *slams ideal shut* NOTHING!

Atsushi- º_º Okei.

Yosano- what was so important that you guys didn't get back here hours ago?

Atsushi- *blushes* nothing!

Dazai- you're too shy to tell them the truth Atsushi-kun~ *hugs Atsushi*

Tanizaki- c'mon tell us!

Ranpo- Atsushit is too embarrassed to say anything and Dazai is being a little shit head that he doesn't want to tell you guys. So ask Kunikida, he was the one that called Dazai.

Kyouka- what happened with Atsushi and Dazai Kunikida-san?

Kuni- UH...

Yosano- tell us.

Kuni- UH...

Naomi- tell us.

Kuni- UH...

Tanizaki- TELL US RIGHT NOW BI-

Kuni- THEY WERE HAVING SEX WHEN I CALLED DAZAI!!!

Yosano- bitch wah?

Tanizaki- you did?

Akutagawa- *breaks in from ceiling* YOU DID?!

Chuuya- *spits out wine while sitting in a dark corner of the agency* you did the tiger, bandaged whore?

Atsushi- what? *blushes for the 100,000,000th time* no that didn't happen!

Dazai- okay...that would be great if we did but, we didn't fuck alright?

Kunikida- wait then why was Atsushi telling you to go slower and softer? And why did he scream? Why did you say you were close? Why is he wearing different clothes? Explain that to me shitface.

Dazai- me and Atsushi were at the park and I was pushing him in the swingset, and well Atsushi flew out of his seat and fell onto a stand that was selling crepes and well it was a big mess. And when I meant I was coming, I was going to help him up. And he had to change clothes because his other clothes is dirty as fuck and he had to take a shower of course.

Kyouka- did you say crepes?

Yosano- so you didn't have... sex?

Atsushi- dear god no.

Dazai- *Northern Downpour starts playing* yeah...we didn't have sex, I mean who doesn't want to have sex with Atsushi, I mean I'm cool if he totally doesn't like the idea of having sex with me, you know I'm cool...

Atsushi- uh okay.

Tanizaki-*whispers into Naomi's ear* Dazai is fucking heartbroken.

Naomi- *whispers back* I can tell.

Yosano- well this clarify that Kuni is the fucking idiot here.

Ranpo- agreed!

Kunikida- ...

Akutagawa- *mumbles apology of breaking ceiling and goes back to the Mafia with Chuuya*

Ranpo- did you learn a lesson today Kuni?

Kunikida- *back to laying down on the couch* I don't wanna talk.

Kyouka- i did.

Yosano- what did you learn sweetheart?

Kyouka- never trust Dazai with the swings, Kunikida has a small brain, and Atsushi can crush my dreams by destroying a crepe cart.

Atsushi- wow what great lessons you learned...