I was clean for almost three months until last night.
So I have these things I like to call "night-fits" where I either can't fall asleep or fall back asleep. I need to do something and can't just lay in bed and do nothing. My brain just won't stop working and I can't shut it off.
Typically, I get a book and read, or get on the computer and write/scroll through YouTube in the hopes that Dan/Phil has posted. But last night, I couldn't. The computer was unsatisfying and I couldn't find a book that spiked my interest.
I sat on my bed, trying to keep my mind off the dark thoughts that liked to consume me. It didn't work. I found my knife and couldn't help it.
The urge to cut never truly left me, I was just able to stop myself.
But last night I couldn't. The urge was too strong and I was too weak to say no. I pressed the blade against my wrist and cut.
Six times I slide the blade across my arm. After six cuts, my brain sort of woke up and realized that what I was doing was bad and told me to stop.
I'm trying to get better.
It's hard, but I'm trying.
YOU ARE READING
The Rants and Ramblings Of A Depressed Teen
HumorA bunch of random thing I think/say. A lot of these are just me being dumb, don't take it to seriously, alright?
