Love,sex and Self-harm

WHY

I sat with my boyfriend curled up in our little house no worries no trouble and yet even there the voices inside my head screamed out "he doesn't love you, your fat, your ugly just die" i tried to ignore them i tried to sleep but they had gotten louder and louder until I couldn't take it I gently slid out from harri's perfect arm he was my dream man strong, handsome, just perfect. I felt a twang of guilt looking at him sleeping but I pushed on because the voices were shouting "He doesn't love you, why would he your fat you would smother him" I ran as quietly as I could out the room before getting to our bathroom I locked the door and got undressed and stared at my size 8 body because I was tall I looked very thin "Fat cow stuffing your face" the voices screamed, but in reality I had hardly eaten one meal a day and that was just to keep Harry happy. I looked down my body "horrible hair, ugly face, stupid figure" I listed just some things I didn't like about myself. I had long wavy black hair and tanned skin I looked ordinary but i saw myself as repulsive. I had stopped cutting after Harri found out and made me promise but my scars were still there, faint but still there. They went on from my legs to my stomach and down my arms. The shouts continued while I studied myself until it got to much.