Love,sex and Self-harm

is this heaven?

I awoke to a bright light "Heaven" i thought, it had worked but then my vision cleared and i saw doctors running to the side of my bed, I sat bolt up right with machines beeping loudly then it all went black again. When i next woke i was in a quiet and no bright light "it worked" thought  i was alone in a hospital bed so i was sure i was dead until i heard the beep of a heart monitor "gave us quite a fright" i heard someone say, Chloe that meant i was alive i failed and now she knew everything, at that point i heard the door open i closed my eyes "how is she?" i heard someone say "Harri" i whispered "oh hello beautiful" he whispered back "iv missed you" he said crying "i thought i lost you" he sobbed. i looked to Chloe "yes i read the note and yes so did Harri" she said walking over Harri kissed my cheek "i don't care i still love you and want to help you even if you don't love me" he sobbed, i reached out to him "brotherly love" he smiled then Chloe came over i expected her to tell me she couldn't know me but instead she kissed me on the lips passionately then smiled but i could see the pain on Harri's eyes "I'm sorry Harri" i said feeling stronger. soon i was discharged to the ward but even though i was back on the watch list i still had visitation and some explaining to do.