Poetry From The Heart

My Father

His words ring in my head. How malicious he was, how malicious he still is.

I see through his facade. His smiles that he puts on for his guests and friends, the loving words he says about me sicken me.

I remember his words,

Nothing. Worthless. Ugly. Only good for making children.

I flinch at his every movement toward me, remembering what he'd done to me, the scar on my cheek serving as a reminder.

Shut up you crybaby. I'll be surprised if any man loves you. Look at how fat you are!

His words made me hurl, made me stop eating. I wanted to please him so badly.

You're too thin! Any man will think you don't eat. They will think you can't cook! No one will marry you.

I was never enough for him. I was always imperfect.

I tried to please him for years, he was my father! I wanted desperately for him to accept me. I wanted him to love me the same way he loved my sister.

He resorted to ignoring me. He left me in the shell of the person I used to be. I was broken. I couldn't find my way back. He succeeded.

Those smiles he gives, the love and adoration he shows in public, is all a facade. He hates me. He broke me. And he likes it.

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My father isn't a good man.

That's all there is to it...
He's abusive, neglecting, and has hurt my mother and me in more ways than one.

My mother was able to escape. I suffer through it still. Maybe one day I'll tell in detail as to what he does and says... But this is a glimpse of the pain that my father causes me.

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Rosa Vazquez.