Not What it Seems

Chapter Twenty

~Jane~

"What the hell were you thinking?" I hissed as I dabbed the alcohol wipe across his scraped knuckles.

"I don't know, I just... I got angry in the moment and I couldn't -"

"What the hell made you so angry, Cash?" I cried and he looked away.

"Wilson was talking shit, alright? He didn't know who he was talking about but he called you a whore and I -

"God," I snapped, chucking the wipe into the trash and spinning on my heel to face him. "Why the fuck does what everyone else thinks matter so much to you?"

His eyes darken. "I was protecting you, Jane!"

"You keep saying that! But I don't see how injuring yourself is beneficial to me!"

"I was defending your honor!" he cried and I rolled my eyes.

"You care so much about what others think of you, Cash and I don't understand why," I muttered and he laughed, shaking his head.

"I care about what you think of me, that's it," he said, stepping towards me until I was pressed up against the sink, the ceramic jutting into my back.

"I don't believe you," I said quietly, as he moves my hair behind my ear.

"Okay."

And then his lips were on mine. I don't know why everything felt so much more intense, considering that we were almost fighting just now, but the need within me intensified.

Cash turned us slowly, backing me out of the bathroom and towards my bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind us and gently sat me down on my bed.

He knelt in front of me, his eyes glazed over. Slowly, and with nimble fingers, he slid my shoes off, lifting my feet over his shoulders. He kissed the insides of my ankles, and then, calmly, undid the snap on my jeans. He eased me back onto the bed, kissing my jaw, and when I lifted up my hips, he tugged my jeans and panties off.

I felt myself flush. Cash and I had never done anything like this before, and I wasn't sure what to do. Was I one to preserve my innocence, or was I willing to give it to Cash because I, dare I say it, loved him?

~Cash~

I slid Janes shirt up past her bra and then over her head. The way she was biting her lip showed the conflict in her head, but the pounding of her heart against mine proved how much she wanted this.

I bit down on her shoulder lightly, kissing the spot afterwards and she arched up into me. I took the opportunity to unclasp her bra and watched as it fell to the floor.

Stepping back, I let my gaze travel over the pale skin of her chest and the soft curls of her hair, lower and lower until I could no longer contain myself.

~Jane~

He straddled my hips, lips meeting mine urgently as I reached over his shoulder and pulled his shirt over his head. By the time I had gotten him down to his boxers, I had no quarrels against losing my virginity to Cash.

He reached into his pants, pulling out his wallet before throwing a sheet over the both of us.

"Do you believe me now?" he whispered, kissing my ear. "You are the only person who gets to judge me."

I wanted to believe him, wanted to rest assured that Cash cared as little about his reputation as I did, but I knew it wasn't true. Nonetheless, I kissed him back and said yes.

I figured, I could deal with Cash's insecurities if he could deal with my own. If he could support me with my dysfunctional family, then I could respect his on-a-pedestal reputation.

Or so I told myself.

~Cash~

I have always thought myself to be lucky. I always thought fate was on my side, but today, it wasn't.

As I kissed Jane's throat, hearing her soft sounds of need, I prepared myself for us to be united as one.

And just as she wrapped her pale legs around my waist, fingers like a vice grip in my hair, her bedroom door flung open.

~Jane~

I didn't need to open my eyes to know it was my mother who had barged into the room. And, judging by her horrified shriek, neither Cash nor I were getting out of this encounter unscathed.

"What in the hell, Jane?!" she yelled and In a flash Cash was off me, the sheets of my bed thrown over us. I clutched them to my chest. Her knuckles were white, clutching the doorknob as she looked at us with sheer disgust.

"Mom, it's okay, chill -"

"Have you learned nothing, Jane, from the example your father has set?" she cried and I flinched. Cash settled his hand on my back, warm and reassuring that through this, he would be right beside me. "Men don't want anything from you but sex. They come in, take what they want, and leave!

"And look him," she said, waving her hand angrily at Cash, "Rich boy like him? Why would he want a poor girl like you, Jane? What made you so delusional?"

"Maybe it's the fact that you have been sleeping around all summer, Mother! Each night, you're with another man! How the hell am I supposed to know anything about love from the way you've been acting? You should be happy I haven't been whoring myself around thinking it's normal from the example you're setting! Be glad that I found someone who actually loves me!"

"I don't know how anyone could love you," she snapped, "you ungrateful girl."

I stared at her, her gaze unwavering unlike my determination. Oddly enough, it was Cash who spoke. "Ma'am with all due respect, I love your daughter very much and I -"

"Love," she spat, shaking her head. "You think you two can love each other? You're from two different worlds! Ridiculous," she muttered, and then looked to Cash. "You need to be gone in the next five minutes."

She walks out of the room and Cash looks over at me, the same thing in his eyes as were in mine. Mom might not have known that Cash was poor as well, but we both knew she was correct in saying we were from two different worlds.

"I should go," he said, and I nodded. He slowly got dressed, his eyes lingering on me. Once he was fully clothed, he turned to me, dropping a small kiss onto my lips. "Maybe it's good we didn't," he paused, "you know. We should make it special."

That, at the very least, indicated that there would be a tomorrow, a soon, a later. At least I knew that my mothers harsh words hadn't deterred Cash from our relationship.

"Okay," I whispered, as his hand smoothed over my shoulder. And I knew it was the smallest answer I could award him, but at this point, and with the look in Cash's eyes, I thought it was enough.