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PROBLEM XLI : Hallway Of Memories
“Justin had thrown away all the liquor and alcohol bottles away. I had seen him one day after getting home from school, Nothing could conjure up the surprise that I had felt, He was throwing it all away. Goddess, I couldn’t believe my eyes!” I sighed heavily, remembering the moment.
“And then...he snapped. I don’t know what happened. One day he was getting better and the next, he was throwing liquor bottles at my head.”
“He threw a liquor bottle at you!” Houston shouted, looking furious. It was a thought I had then accidently voiced out, making him yell again: “I am fucking furious Clover!”
“I know...It’s just...I have to deal with it.”
I looked outside the window, noticing that we had stopped. A feeling of sudden nativity filled within me. It was all those old memories crashing into my mind all over again. Every moment, every laugh, every tear and every moment of misery and hopelessness. There had been a time I was so close to quitting. I was always wondering why I hadn’t done it yet. They were bad thoughts for a girl my age and yet, there I was. I never thanked myself for not doing it. Maybe I didn’t have the guts. Or maybe I always knew that things would be getting better.
But if I was putting cash on it, I’d say it was the former.
“You still think you’re going to go stay with him? Goodness gracious No,” Houston said slamming the door as he stepped out of the car and rounding his way, opening my door.
“You don’t understand.”
“I don’t think I need to understand anymore than I already do HoneyCakes. He is a sorry excuse of a father that you absolutely do not deserve.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Believe me I do. I know you Clover,” Houston said, as he turned around and held me by my shoulders. “You are a good person, Clover Lian. Good people do not deserve to get beat and definitely not by their own family.” He was looking into my brown eyes with such great intensity. My words had gotten tied on my tongue. For a while I couldn’t get my voice working.
Taking a deep breath, I spoke the words that I never dared to speak to another soul in my entire existence. “I was trying to...return a favor.”
Houston gave me the most disbelieving and ridiculous look I have seen on his face. “You were...returning a...Favor...by getting beat?”
That tone did not sound pleasant.
“That’s what I said.”
“You are not supposed to be returning favors to your parents Clover!” TheregoesHoneyCakes again. “What they do for you is out of their own happy will. Those are not meant to be retuned or avenged. You hear me Clover?”
I cocked my head to the side. His eyes were staring right into mine. I wasn’t lost for the first time. My mind running miles and fully occupied. How was I going to tell him everything when I can’t say anymore than this without making myself into a sobbing mess? This whole ordeal was sucking the effort, energy and most importantly, the life out of me. I was never going to be able to look him in the eyes again. And I doubt I’d be ever able to forgive Ethan for what he had done.
“We should find Andrew,” I said, padding inside the orphanage with my hands pocketed in my skinny jeans. I sighed in relief hearing the sound of footsteps behind me. If I couldn’t speak, I would have to show him.
I strolled over to the Hallway of Memories as they had started calling it a long while ago. The walls of this hallway contained picture frames of every child that is or has been here. There were single pictures as well as group ones. I halted in front of a very familiar picture. The same eyes, the same nose, the same everything...just younger.
I could never forget, she was happy. Life wasn’t easy but she had a smile on her face. A huge smile. Some people say a huge smile is often suicidal. There is a theory that it is so because these huge smiles have a lot of thoughts to hide and a small smile would never suffice. Maybe it is true. But I know this smile and this was truly happy. There was happiness twinkling in these eyes. There was hope and there was a better future.
“HoneyCakes?” I felt him before I heard him. Houston was there, right behind me, his shoulder touching mine. It sent an odd sense of comfort to me, making my shoulders ease and relax.
I rolled my lips inside my mouth, readying myself to speak before making a smacking noise. “I dare you to lie and say that this girl does not look familiar to you,” I said with my back to him. There was no way I’d be able to hold eyes in this state.
“She has your eyes,” Houston whispered. “Is she your sister?”
“Look closer Dumbass.”
Houston moved closer, his face right beside mine. His shoulder touching mine with more audacity than before, as he looked over my shoulder at the picture. “Is—”
“Ah, hello Houston. We found Andrew for you. Such a nice young boy he is! Oh, what are you looking at?” Ms. Rhonda, as I remembered said as she took a look at the picture. “Oh this girl, Her name was—is Clover. She was adopted by a family a few years back. Nice child she is, hope she got the family she wished for.”
My eyes were casted down, suddenly the cream tiled floor was so much more appealing than Houston’s face. I knew Houston’s eyes were on me, I could feel it in waves. I couldn’t put a finger on the feeling, but it was intense. And intensity was something that scared the living daylights out of me. The air was so tense and utterly uncomfortable at the moment that Ms. Rhonda muttered something and left as quickly as possible.
“Clover...”
I closed my eyes, feeling the burn of the fluid behind them. Houston didn’t know about the tears that were dying to escape the bay. I dared and opened my eyes, and whatever I saw was blurred and hazy. I saw a blurred image of Houston staring at me and muttered the only thing I could think of at the moment.
