Enjoying the night,
Spending time with friends,
Laughing together,
A jolly good time.
Suddenly, I am surrounded.
The clinking glasses and hollow laughs
Seep through the walls
I have put up for myself.
Swallow hard,
Plaster smile.
Acknowledge jokes,
Fake pleasantries.
Can't take it anymore.
Excuse myself,
Scoot back my seat,
Not too quick.
Self-control is key.
Half-walk,
Half-run.
Across the house.
There it is.
Enter the bathroom,
Lock myself in.
Too wiped out to face the mirror.
Stand in solemn silence,
Sweating,
Shaking,
Listening to the laughter that rumbles in the walls.
Gather the strength to sit on the closed toilet.
Head in hands,
Breathing hard,
Escaped from the enemy lines.
Calm down the shaking.
Force myself to cease the constant movement that inhabits my body and mind.
Breathe in,
Breathe out.
I am alone.
Completely,
Undeniably,
Utterly,
Alone.
A blessing and a curse.
For what if I was seen like this?
Emotions up,
Guard down?
Yet there is no one to calm me,
To understand,
To share in my sorrows.
No one at all.
Reign in my rattling mind,
Breathe in new air.
Stand up.
Straighten my clothes.
Stare in the mirror for an immeasurable amount of time,
Ashamed,
Bewildered,
Frightened.
Fierce.
Nod and breathe deep.
Turn 'round like a soldier,
Sharp and determined.
Twist the doorknob.
Into battle.
YOU ARE READING
Poems from the Right Brain
PoetrySome silly, some not. Some lighthearted, some littered with thought. Some passionate, some numb. Some so clever, some outright dumb. Some more cautious, some bursting with tears. Some revealing memories, some unveiling my fears. So here's my heart...
