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02.| ninenerbiyos

ninenerbiyos
{Filipino} 》jittery

H a i l e e 

I don't like to say the world hate a lot but school is an exception. I used to love school, it was always fun in Arizona until I had to leave. It became so stressful to deal with the unfamiliarity of it all. It is hard for me to make friends and even more harder to adapt to changes. So I just gave in, I stopped trying to make friends and I stopped trying to fit in. I didn't want to get attached to anyone or anything because we never seem to settle down.

"Honey? Are you okay?" I heard my mom angelic voice. My mom knows about my anxiety and she always tells me to relax. While I appreciate the gesture, it doesn't help much.

"Yeah, just nervous." I smiled a little to reassure her. It's never just nervous with me.

"Well, you're gonna have fun and you're gonna make great friends." She patted my shoulder and I smiled again.

My dad was asleep in their room while my younger sister was still getting ready. I had hoped that we would go to the same school but she signed up for art school. She is a freshmen and it would have been fun to experience high school with her. But I'm glad she chose art school. She is so talented and creative that it blows my mind sometimes.

I wasn't big on breakfast as my stomach was in knots so I made a small sandwich and took it on my way. Our new apartment was close to school, about 10 minutes away. I liked the distance, it was a nice walk.

I inhaled in and out as I made my way through. My head felt light and I felt like throwing up but I couldn't be late to school. As the building came in view, I inhaled again and leaned on the wall to rest a little. I closed my eyes, praying for God to ease this school year. This is my last year and I want it to be fun yet peaceful.

"Hailee?" A deep voice called out and I opened my eyes quickly.

"You scared me." I mumbled. Aries was standing in front of me wearing a black leather jacket and a gray T-shirt. He was raising an eyebrow at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Going to class?" He answered, still raising an eyebrow at me.

"Right, of course." I muttered to myself.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Am I okay? Great question, well if you count having an anxiety attack and moving away for the forth time as normal then I am perfectly fine. But I didn't tell him any of that.

"Just nervous." I shrugged.

"Let's get you inside, you can hang out with us." He said.

"I really don't want to intrude..." I said hesitantly.

"You won't. C'mon, you seem like you need the company." He said and I nodded. I walked right next to him this time. He seemed to have slowed down for me and I appreciated that.

As soon as we entered the school, people heads turned to look at us. If I felt like I was going to vomit before, now I'm sure I'm going to pass out. Everybody stared at us, they looked at us quizzically. Like we're a phenomenon or something. The knots in my stomach grew bigger and tighter. I tried not to let anything affect me but it is proving hard.