That Was Me

Fine is a Lie

Rey's POV
I scoop the last pile of dirt, placing it on Apollo's grave as the salty air dances around me.

The sun sets on the horizon and a porg sits watching me.

His black eyes watching me and occasionally flapping his wings like he's going to fly away, but doesn't.

He won't leave me while I complete this task, unlike Ben who started crying and Kayla suddenly needed help.

We had a peaceful ceremony this morning for him, but I can't help but feel an emptiness continually grow within me.

I look at the sun one last time, before picking up my staff and walking away.

I hear the familiar noise of the porg following me. He waddles quickly to keep up, but manages.

I walk through Luke and I's old camp and remember nights alone wondering why he wouldn't teach me, but finally convincing him. I remember I had to get Chewbacca's help and telling him of Han's betrayal from Kylo. It was one of the first time's I had seen his rock expression change, but it's one of the reasons he finally agreed to help me, although he almost quit a couple times. 

I walk away, not wanting to recall anymore. The porg follows me to where I used to train. The destroyed rock remains how I left it, crumbled on the ground into pieces. I sit on the largest piece and the porg comes in front of me. 

He makes a curious noise and tilts his head. 

"Why are you following me?" I stare at him. 

He sqwacks in return. 

"I can't understand you." I tell him. "So why did I ever start talking to you." I whisper to myself and hang my head.  

He comes forward and bumps my leg. I look at him and he bumps me again. "What?" I ask. He bumps me, yet again with his head, but rubs it afterwards. "You want to me petted?" I ask. 

He does a happy sqwack and I reach my hand out. He quickly waddles over to it and rubs his head under it. 

I proceed by rubbing his head and going with the flow of his feathers. 

"If you're not going to leave me alone, I'll have to name you."

He does a happy sqwack, as if he can understand me. 

"Wait, can you-?" I begin to ask, but am cut off by him moving and he bites my hand gently, then nods with my finger in his mouth. 

"Well then little guy, do you have a name?" 

He shakes his body and I take it as a no.

"Well let's give you one." I think for a moment. "How about Jak?"

He nods again with my finger still in his mouth.

"Well Jak, can I have my finger back?"

He lets go and gives a sqwack.

"Still can't understand you." I shake my head and realize how dark it is getting. "Let's go." We leave and head back to the Falcon.

"It's done." I tell Ben as I pass him.

"Rey-" Kayla begins to follow me to Apollo's old room which Ben and I have taken back over.

"I'm fine." I lie.

I close the door and hear Jak sqwack.

I open and let him in and Ben is behind him.

"Found a friend?" He asks and enters with Jak.