My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

6/6/12

It's summer, and these past two weeks have been so busy. I'm actually really grateful for that, though. I have been keeping myself distracted, and it has been so nice. This summer got off to a really great start. We just celebrated our birthday, and S and I both got our licences. We can drive by ourselves now. And I think that freedom more than anything  is going to get me through the summer. Along with my friends, of course.

I have been spending a lot of time with F4 and F6. I missed them so much during school. It's hard to stay friends when we don't have any classes together anymore. But now that I've started spending more time with them, I can really tell that our friendship is still really strong. S and I have also seen our Freshman Buddies a few times, and all of our friends were at our birthday party, which was really nice. We had our party about a week after schoo let out, so it was really nice to see them all again. It's amazing how much you can miss people after just a week. The only thing I feel bad about is that we haven't seen F5 in a while. But I'm planning on driving over to see him on Friday while S is with her boyfriend. So I'll get that worked out.

Anyway, now that these first few weeks are over, I don't have much planned. But F4 has a really nice pool, so I'll probably be oveer there a lot. Once I get over the sunburn  got yesterday, that is. I was only outside for two hours, and I was wearing tons of sunscreen, and I still got burned.

And this is really, really boring.

The thing is, I've been fine for a very long time now, longer than normal. But today, I just haven't been feeling so great. I don't know why; it might be because I was planning on going to see F5 today but I woke up too late. Anyway, I've been really restless all day, and it hasn't put me in a very good mood. I've been questioning things again, wondering why I get this way. And the future just doesn't llook so bright at times like this.

I think I just need to get out of the house. Which shouldn't be a problem. We have a meeting at school tomorrow. We, along with a bunch of other students, are going to help plan freshman orientation for next year. And I'm actually kind of looking forward to going back to the school. Despite my bad experiences, I really love my school, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

And soon, we are going to another concert, which will be fun. But it's kind of a different concert than the other ones we've been to. This one is Young the Giant. Our brother's girlfriend won tickets from the radio station, so she is taking us. Honestly, before last week I only knew they're one popular song, but now I know most of their album. It's a different style of music than the other concerts, and it's at a different place, but I'm still looking forward to it. Concerts usually make me happy.

Since I'm trying to be more honest, I'll tell you the truth. Included with the tickets were backstage passes. That's a good thing, right? Except that I have trouble talking to my best friends, much less members of a band I just started listening to. I'm just scared that it will be really embarassing. I don't know why that scares me so much, but it does. That's kind of petty, isn't it? I mean, I get to meet a semi-famous band and instead of being excited I'm just nervous that I'll say something stupid.

I just need to stop being so negative about everything. And I need to stop giving myself time for this stuff. I'm going to promise myself that my sspanish work will be done by the end of June. I'm going to seriously work on it, and I'm going to get it done.

What else has been going on? I've been so busy, yet I have nothing to say.

This always makes me feel so much better. I just wish I could truly express my feelings in a clearer way. I feel like I'm being so redundant.

Do you ever just look at something and think, "That is absolutely ridiculous," when it's something completely normal? I was watching the Glee Project today (don't even get me started on that; also, please no spoilers, I haven't seen the last few episode of Glee yet) when I just got the thought that it was completely ridiculous for them all to be onstage dancing. Like, what purpose does it serve? Do they ever feel weird doing it? What is the point of even plays, of taking on a new character and acting it out? Sometimes it just strikes me, especially when I'm watching a school play. It's like they're trying to be something they're so obviously not, and for what reason?

Maybe I'm just weird like that. I question the reasoning behind forms of entertainment a lot. Sports is especially confusing to me. I just don't see why we should value them so much more than everyone else. That's not to say that I don't like plays or movies or shows, I just think it's weird.

I'm rambling now, and I've stopped making sense. I don't know how to use my words. Summer does that to me. But I need to get back into practice, because I have some essays to write soon. I got my first summer book in the mail yesterday. It doesn't look too bad. And the book we are reading for Spanish actually isn't very hard. 

Maybe since I wrote all of this down I'll be able to stop going crazy.

Do any of you watch Merlin? I'm in the middle of season 3. The only problem is, it's so emotionally taxing to watch an episode. I always leave each episode drained by all of the close-calls. I swear, every character has nearly died at least twice. But it's still a good show.

If anyone has any Netflix reccomendations, I'm looking for something to watch next.

I really need to find a  better way to occupy myself. It just seems like I don't have the attention span for books anymore. I don't know what went wrong. I used to love reading. I just can't focus on it anymore. Too many other options, I guess. It's kind of sad. Although it's not like I don't read; I just don't read books. I read more than enough fanfiction though, if that counts. There's always the same problem with both fanfiction and books: it's hard to find stuff that's well-written. The difference is, fanfiction is free and easily available. You don't have to worry about wasting money.

I must quit ranting!

That's about it for now. Summer isn't very exciting right now. But I'm enjoying the time off.

Thank you all so much for your support. I believe the next chapter is number 100. That's kind of scary. But I couldn't have done it without all of you. Thank you all, no matter how much you have read or how long you have followed my story. I couldn't be more grateful.

Thank you for reading!

Goodbye, my dear readers.

"Life's too short to even care at all. I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control." - Cough Syrup, Young the Giant. Yes, I know this is their most popular song, but I really like these lyrics. I don't remember if I already used this one, but if I did, I apologize.